These punks just don't surprise me anymore.
Pastor Grant Storms has been an annual spectacle at the gay Southern Decadence celebration taking place in the Big Easy every year, picketing and shouting hellfire and brimstone at attendees. Of course, like every vocal "family values" nutjob, he had a few skeletons in the closet. Namely, he enjoys the outdoors, strolls in the park, and masturbating in front of children in said parks.
"Storms, 53, of 2304 Green Acres Road in Metairie, was taken into custody at Lafreniere Park after two women reported seeing him masturbating in the driver's seat of his van, which was parked near the carousel and playground, a Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office report said.
"The first woman told deputies she was taking her children to the playground and parked next to the van at about noon. As she was walking around her own vehicle, she noticed the van windows were down and the occupant was 'looking at the playground area that contained children playing, with his zipper down...,' the report said. The woman noted that he was masturbating and quickly ushered her children out of her car."
While some of these "caught you!" scenarios are just plain silly-- think Larry "Wide Stance" Craig-- this is just chilling. These figures are trusted around children. Now, when someone proclaims "I believe in family values!" I automatically start wondering whether they are frequenting hookers, gay, frequenting gay hookers, meth users, or creepy window wankers.
The funniest comment so far is from the article below: "@ltdanchoi, I'd recommend picketing his anti-gay church, but he might masturbate on you and your children."