Monday, February 7, 2011

Catholics: We Hate Cereal!

These guys really make my job easy.

Catholics:  Revising history and hating on breakfast food.

The Catholic Church has released a new edition of the Bible aimed at making the Scripture easier for Amurrica to understand.  In doing so, the New American Bible, Revised Edition (NABRE) made some, uh, interesting changes:

"The word 'cereal,' originally referring to bushels of wheat, had been removed because of fears readers might confuse it for a breakfast food.

"'Booty' had been replaced with 'plunder' because it has also come to mean 'buttocks' or 'sexual intercourse.'

"In what may be a sign of deference to Jewish history, the word 'holocaust,' which has come to refer to only the specific period of history where millions of Jews were killed, had been replaced with 'burnt offerings.'"

I have to say that I am saddened by this, but not for the reasons you might think.  I read the Bible as a young person, not because I'm particularly Christian, but parts of it are actually a good read.  Even more importantly, its stately, archaic language encouraged me to learn the many meanings of certain words.  I wish that we would stop making things dumber for America, or we'll all end up speaking newspeak.  And that would be doubleplus ungood.