Monday, January 31, 2011

Neocons in Hysterics About ElBaradei, the Rest of Us Surprised There Are Still Neocons

I didn't even know these guys were still around...

In a tantrum reminiscent of Bush-era foreign policy, DC war enthusiasts denounced the Egyptian opposition leader as a "stooge of Iran."  This isn't the first time they've done this-- ElBaradei, as the chief of the International Atomic Energy Agency, strongly opposed the Bush administration's assertions that Saddam Hussein was developing weapons of mass destruction.

"Nonetheless, the neocons who wildly hyped and distorted military intelligence in Iraq were determined to once again undermine ElBaradei when it came to Iran’s WMD program. 'Mohamed ElBaradei is an apologist for Iran,' Bolton said in 2007. Why did Bolton say this? Because ElBaradei has refused to endorse a US- or Israeli-led attack on Iran, much to the chagrin of neocon war cheerleaders. The former IAEA chief has publicly criticized the Iranian government for not cooperating sufficiently with his agency, but he’s also been careful to note that robust diplomacy is the ultimate solution to the Iranian nuclear standoff."

Now the same chumps-- such as Malcolm Hoenlein, executive vice president of the Council of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations and source of the "stooge" quote-- are attacking ElBaradei on the eve of Mubarak's fall from power in Egypt.

Listen, guys, you know very well we aren't going to suddenly storm off to war based on trumped up charges.  The fact that they are going to attack this guy-- who by the way is the recipient of a Nobel Peace Prize-- simply because he is opposing Hosni Mubarak is a desperate move for attention, for reasons I don't even understand anymore.

What they need is to be tucked up in their armchairs by the fire with a nice glass of warm milk, where they can grumpily tell their "good ol' days" stories about the Bush era.  I mean, who takes these fogies seriously?


Egypt's Twitter is Cut Off-- Google to the Rescue!

 Officially more badass than entire governments.

When the Internet went down in Egypt, a resource was lost for protest organizers.  Twitter and Facebook, both key components to the civil disobedience (not to mention getting news OUT of Egypt), were fucked.  Until Google decided to take a hand. 

"We worked with a small team of engineers from Twitter, Google and SayNow, a company we acquired last week, to make this idea a reality. It’s already live and anyone can tweet by simply leaving a voicemail on one of these international phone numbers (+16504194196 or +390662207294 or +97316199855) and the service will instantly tweet the message using the hashtag #egypt. No Internet connection is required. People can listen to the messages by dialing the same phone numbers or going to"

I find it kind of interesting that a corporate entity-- albeit, a giant like Google-- can completely defy a government's will by circumventing President Mubarak's Internet blackout.  It's amazing.  


Fox News Isn't Really Sure Which Brown People Live Where

As evidenced by this graphic used by Fox News, they could perhaps use a lesson in geography:

Yeeeeeeeeeeah.  Egypt is in North Africa, guys.  Sorry, I know it's confusing.  Carry on. 

Sunday, January 30, 2011

200th Post!

This is my 200th post.  Instead of making it a post of substance or profundity, I decided instead to go the stupid route and did a Google search for an image associated with the words "bacon lesbian shoehorn."  This is what I found:

This truly embodies the spirit of "Bacon Lesbian Shoehorn."

Thanks for reading, guys!

Book Vending Machines Make Reading a 24-hr Possibility

It's 3 AM and you can't sleep!  You need a good book to read but have read everything you own.  Don't you wish the library was open?

In Polk County FL,  they came up with an innovative method of making books accessible to everyone at every hour.

"The machines are similar to Red Box movie rental machines. One of the machines has DVDs in it, and the other has best selling books.

"To check something out, all you need to do is to swipe your library card."

This was made to address the lack of a library in the Four Corners area of Polk County.  I have to say, I wouldn't mind such a convenient method of checking out books in the neighborhood I live in-- I hate having to troll through the stacks in a library to find some light reading.  Perhaps this is a solution to folks-- like myself-- who are used to the instant gratification of the Internet.


House Republicans Want to Change What the Word "Rape" Means

Once again trying to stick their noses where they don't belong (namely, all up in yo uterus), 173 mostly Republican US Reps co-sponsored a bill cutting funding for reproductive health by changing the definition of the word "rape."

Where do you think she would put rape on that sign?

"Currently, the federal government denies taxpayer monies to be used to pay for abortions, except in cases when pregnancies result from rape or incest or when the pregnancy endangers the woman's life.

"However, if the 173 mainly Republican co-sponsors of the 'No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act' have their way, that would all change. Instead of keeping the 30-year-old definition of rape in federal law, the bill would modify it to 'forcible rape,' thereby severely limiting the health care choices of millions of American women and their families.

"In other words, rape would not be rape unless violence were involved; however, the term 'forcible rape' was left undefined, leading some to speculate its meaning since it is also not defined in the federal criminal code or in some state laws."

This just days after Michele Bachmann's ludicrous proposal eliminating ALL veteran health benefits.  Uh, don't you guys know what not to touch?  Now you're going to tell a woman what rape is? 

Also: statutory rape is no longer rape?  Now, if a 30 year old impregnates a 14 year old, he has to smack her around first so that she can qualify for government assistance in terminating the pregnancy?

Oh!  America.  You're so silly sometimes.


New Superman Chosen

Henry Cavill's resume seemed to be a list of "almosts" as he was considered and passed up for several superhero roles-- to include Superman from Bryan Singer's remake. 

Well, it's now Henry's turn to assume the cape of the Man of Steel.  From Warner Bros. press release:

"Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures announced today that Henry Cavill has won the coveted role of Superman, the iconic superhero.

"The film will be directed by Zack Snyder, who stated, 'In the pantheon of superheroes, Superman is the most recognized and revered character of all time, and I am honored to be a part of his return to the big screen. I also join Warner Bros., Legendary and the producers in saying how excited we are about the casting of Henry. He is the perfect choice to don the cape and S shield.'"

I don't know about donning the cape, but I like him just fine without anything at all.  The last image is a promo still from his upcoming flick Immortals telling the saga of Greek hero Theseus due in November 2011.

Rep. Jack Kingston Didn't Come From Monkeys; Monkeys Are Relieved That They Aren't to Blame For Jack Kingston

Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) stated on Friday night's "Real Time With Bill Maher" that he does not believe in evolution:

"'I believe I came from God, not from a monkey so the answer is no,' he said, laughing, when asked if he subscribes to the theory. Later in the segment he added, 'I don't believe that a creature crawled out of the sea and became a human being one day.'"

Jack thinks that it's a lot better to have descended from dirt than from living creatures.

What a coincidence, Jack!  I don't believe a creature crawled out of the sea and became a human being one day-- just as I don't believe that man was created from dust one day.  I believe that man evolved slowly over tens of thousands of years!  As does everyone else who believes in evolution.  Thanks for the misinformation, tho.

Tell you what: instead of trying to make science sound silly, why don't you keep your religious ideas in your church, instead of in your politics?  Your personal life is really none of my business, and I'd like to keep it that way.  Or did the job description of US Rep change to include "Forcing personal ideologies and religious tenets on the American population?"  I'll have to look that up.



Dark Lord Hillary Once Again Has the Biggest Balls in Washington

Damn, I wish I could've voted this bitch in.

In the strongest statement yet from Barry O's Administration regarding Egypt, Hillary Clinton had this to say:

"Real stability only comes from the kind of democratic participation that gives people a chance to feel that they are being heard.  And by that I mean real democracy, not a democracy for six months or a year and then evolving into essentially a military dictatorship or a so-called democracy that then leads to what we saw in Iran."

Video is below.  I love this bitch, I really do.  She seems to be the progressive conscience of the administration.  Maybe it's because she doesn't have the constraints of the Presidency yoking her to some centrist ideal?

[Think Progress]

All Right, Men, Slather Yourselves!

My fave fast food Taco Bell has recently been the target of a lawsuit alleging that their beef is not really what you would call "beef."  "Of course not," I said, "mere beef couldn't be this delicious!"

Far from the tactic most of us expected them to take (settling out of court, hiding their ingredient list), Taco Bell instead has created a whole new ad campaign based on the lawsuit.

They released an ad that thanks the plaintiffs for suing them, and then lists the ingredients found in the beef (which, btw, could be found on Taco Bell's website even prior to the lawsuit).

"We start with USDA-inspected quality beef (88%).  Then add water to keep it juicy and moist (3%). Mix in Mexican spices and flavors including salt, chili pepper, onion powder, tomato powder, sugar, garlic powder and cocoa powder (4%). Combine a little oats, caramelized sugar, yeast, citric acid and other ingredients that contribute to the flavor, moisture, consistency and quality of our seasoned beef."

Perhaps even better, they then released a series of Hanna-Barbera style superhero cartoons starring the "Super Delicious Ingredient Force."  I have to say, this shit is GAY.  Watch it.  Not only do they spooge hot sauce all over, but Rice Boy (or whatever the hell the dude with the R on his shirt is supposed to be) has perhaps the gayest lines in the whole goddamn thing.  Watch.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Ian Awesome: Portland Edition

Ian is adventuring in the magical land of Portland today and won't be able to post until this evening. Patience, young Padawan. Until then, look at this ad for a Dr. Who Spinning TARDIS toy.

The Fifth That Can't Learn: Egyptian Unrest and the China That Should Hear About It

Once again, the Chinese government has failed the Chinese people.

I have a feeling Hosni is fucked.

Egypt has, for the past few days, been embroiled in riots and unrest as the Egyptian people take to the streets protesting Hosni Mubarak's 30 year-old reign in the North African country.  While violence rocks Cairo, the Internet cuts off, and Mubarak refuses to step down, the world waits with bated breath to see the outcome of this story... Will change come to Egypt, or will the 82-year old president hold onto his office?  Whatever the outcome, we can definitely say that Egypt has changed in a profound way-- either politically or in the hearts of its people.  Everyone is enthralled.

Well, almost everyone.

"China has blocked the word 'Egypt' from the country's wildly popular Twitter-like service, while coverage of the political turmoil has been tightly restricted in state media.

"China's ruling Communist Party is sensitive to any potential source of social unrest.

"A search for 'Egypt' on the Sina microblogging service brings up a message saying, 'According to relevant laws, regulations and policies, the search results are not shown.'"

I would to state unequivocally that nothing makes me as angry as censorship.  I read this article (link below) and I get furious.  I might have a few things to say.

First of all:  The Chinese government blows.  The only reason we talk to them is because they have goods, and we want those goods.  Period.  Otherwise, we would have classed the human rights violations the government routinely commits against its people as sanction worthy and would have nothing to do with these despots. 

Plus, how stupid do you have to be?  Egypt blocked Twitter when the protesting started-- and it only served to enrage people and attract attention to the issue worldwide.  Does the Communist Party and its puppet agencies like Xinhua think that they can get away with this level of arrogance?
 He calls himself a President.  I call him the oppressor of over a billion people.
Worse, I object to using the phraseology "China blocked the word 'Egypt.'"  China didn't do this.  The Chinese government did this.  Why do I care about this?  It's pretty important, and it's also why the ruling party does not want the Chinese people-- does not want China-- to learn about the unrest taking place in Egypt even as I write this post.

Here's the thing.  20% of the world's population lives in China.  That means that as long as the media is restricted regarding the protests in Egypt one fifth of the human race is kept from learning about something happening in a powerful Arab nation.  That is what boggles my mind and surely terrifies the Hu Jintao regime-- the greatest people on Earth are being kept from being told that a nation's populace can topple an unjust ruler.  

Who is China?  Is it the few assholes who made this stupid policy decision and restricted information that is on every street corner in Washington DC, Paris, London, and Sydney?  Or is it the 20% of humanity that suffers under the depredations of said assholes?  China is not the the single-party "Republic" that does the ordering, but instead the people in the cities, in the country, in Beijing and along the Yellow River.  It is a sleeping giant waiting to be awakened, and it will be truly terrifying if it wakes up angry.

The Communist Party of China would do well to remember that, and act accordingly... because someday China will remember, and then the few who oppress the many will pay.  I can't say they won't deserve it.

I look forward to seeing the events in Egypt unfold.  I hope justice prevails, and I hope that the violence and bloodshed taking place in Egypt, while terrible, buys freedom from an unjust rule and true democracy for a beleaguered nation.  

And I hope China gets to hear about it.

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Most Horrifying Thing You Will Ever See On This Blog

At first I was horrified.  Then I heard it was a rapper's tattoo (T-Main) and I was like, "Oh.  Whatevs.  I get it."  Should I be ashamed, or should he?


Scott Lively is a Complete Douchebag

Unless you live under a rock, you've heard about the brutal murder on Wednesday of Ugandan gay activist David Kato.  Many in both Uganda and the US are pointing fingers at three evangelicals who took a trip in March to the impoverished African nation in order to give a conference denouncing homosexuality. 

"'David’s death is a result of the hatred planted in Uganda by U.S. evangelicals in 2009,' said Val Kalende, the chairwoman of one of Uganda’s gay rights groups. 'The Ugandan government and the so-called U.S. evangelicals must take responsibility for David’s blood.'"

Scott Lively, one of the three and author of the book Pink Swastika which blames Nazi violence on same-sex relationships in German government, decided that he would do some detective-ing on his own, and has offered us a theory.  Pastor Scott is on the case!
"But in a statement posted on the website Defend the Family today, the Springfield pastor made no mention of his 2009 trip, nor did he condemn the murder or offer his condolences. Lively also said he would 'caution the media against assuming Cato’s [sic] murder was a hate crime.'

"Instead, Lively suggested Kato may have been killed by someone with whom he had been romantically involved, despite the fact that no one familiar with the case has suggested Kato was killed by a gay person, let alone someone with whom he had had a sexual relationship. There remains a 'possibility' Kato was 'killed by a "gay" lover,' Lively wrote, and likened Kato's death to that of Carlos Castro, a Portuguese journalist who was allegedly beaten to death and castrated by a male model in New York City earlier this month."

Also, the gays are to blame for global warming and cancer.  And, uh, taxes.  Plus sharks.  Yeah, that too.  Sharks.

Thank goodness for Pastor Scott, or this would never have been solved.  But wait!  I have a theory!  David Kato was killed by little gremlins wearing tutus!  It's just as valid-- since there's no evidence for EITHER.

So not only is he denying any plausibility he had in Kato's death, he is instead putting blame on the gays?  What a dirtbag.


National Organization For Marriage: We Don't Know What The Hell We're Talking About

Brian Brown sent out a letter to their supporters, and it's filled with an extra dose of bullshit criticizing The Kids Are Not Alright.

 Are you serious, Brian?  You've devolved to the point that you are going to venture an opinion on a film that you haven't even seen?!

And what the fuck is up with your indication that it was written by British Jesuits?  What do you have against them?  Are you insinuating that British Jesuits are super gay?  Which part do you object to, their Britishness or their Jesuit-y writing?  WTF?

You'd think with such Neanderthals in charge we would have won our full civil rights by now. 


Ayn Rand: Not Only a Complete Nutjob, But a Hypocrite to Boot

Noted hater of social services Ayn Rand supposedly collected government assistance to treat her lung cancer under her married name.  This was a decidedly delightful piece of gossip to wake up to this morning.

She liked speed too.  Look at her!  She looks like a gorram meth freak!  Why did people listen to this cooter?

"An interview with Evva Pryror, a social worker and consultant to Miss Rand's law firm of Ernst, Cane, Gitlin and Winick verified that on Miss Rand's behalf she secured Rand's Social Security and Medicare payments which Ayn received under the name of Ann O'Connor (husband Frank O'Connor)."

It's funny how libertarians and Tea Party whackos will talk shit about social programs until they need them.  I think that we need another government assistance program-- a subsidy to educate people on how to pronounce this bitch's name.  Ayn?  What kind of name is that?


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Tea Party Picked Another Doozy

Yet another new governor brought in with Tea Party backing, yet another exercise in insanity.

This one takes place in New Mexico.  Republican Susana Martinez, elected with the approval of the Tea Party, appointed a new head of the state's Energy, Minerals, and Natural Resources Department.  The problem?  He's a complete and utter crackpot who tries to scare the public into thinking environmentalism=communism.

Plus!  Abortions are perpetrated by alien monsters who take the fetuses and transform them into gay men, thus destroying marriage!

"Newly elected New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez (R) has made a series of troubling moves since taking office last month, from proposing the elimination of a crucial state women’s services commission to making her first priority the revocation of illegal immigrants’ driver’s licenses. But the Tea Party-backed governor’s selection of Harrison Schmitt to head the state’s Energy, Minerals and Natural Resources Department, which oversees all environmental matters in New Mexico, is the most disturbing action to date.

"Schmitt, a retired astronaut and former U.S. Senator, has said he believes the leaders of the environmental movement are communists, and that when these communist environmentalists are appointed to government positions, citizens need to 'wake up' and 'take control of their government again.'"

Wow.  NM does not sound like the place to be... unless your head is in outer space.  Hahaha!  That was funny.  Cuz he's an astronaut.  Get it?


Genghis Khan: Environmentally Friendly?

A neat study came out indicating that Genghis Khan's bloodthirsty invasion of, uh, the entire WORLD actually did the planet some good.

"Genghis Khan has been branded the greenest invader in history - after his murderous conquests killed so many people that huge swathes of cultivated land returned to forest.

"The Mongol leader, who established a vast empire between the 13th and 14th centuries, helped remove nearly 700 million tons of carbon from the atmosphere, claims a new study.

"The deaths of 40 million people meant that large areas of cultivated land grew thick once again with trees, which absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.  And, although his methods may be difficult for environmentalists to accept, ecologists believe it may be the first ever case of successful manmade global cooling."

Click on the link below to read the whole article, it's very science and very cool.  However, I'm glad this relationship of depopulation/carbon emissions didn't come to light during the LAST presidency-- while we may have seen a flip-flop on the right's climate change policies, it wouldn't have ended well.  Can't you just see His Royal Highness George II suddenly deciding we needed to invade Iran to save the forests?

 Heh heh.  You got me all wrong!  I believed in global warming the whole time!  Save the... uh... whales?


Color-Coded Terror Alerts Getting the Axe

An official within Homeland Security confirmed to the Associated Press that the green, blue, yellow, orange and red system of defining whether or not we should be scared shitless is being phased out.

"The Obama administration will take the next three months to roll out a replacement, which will be called the National Terrorism Advisory System. The new plan calls for notifying specific audiences about specific threats. In some cases, it might be a one-page threat description sent to law enforcement officials describing the threat, what law enforcement needs to do about it and what the federal government is doing, one of the officials said.

"When agency officials think there is a threat the public should know about, they will issue an announcement and rely on news organizations and social media outlets to get the word out.

"The five-tiered color-coded terror warning system, created after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, was one of the Bush administration's most visible anti-terrorism programs. Criticized as too vague to be useful in communicating the terror threat to the public, it quickly became the butt of late-night talk show jokes."

Barry O is probably just changing it because he doesn't like to judge terror based on color.  Hahahaha!  It's funny cuz he's black.


Belated SOTU Post

 Barry O is totes going to kick Bachmann's ass after class.

Here's the deal:  I took the day off yesterday to hang with a friend and didn't post about the State of the Union Address.  Sue me!  To be honest, I watch it every year and it always seems about as useful as sticking a salami in your ear.  He talks about issues we already knew and outlines plans that were already in place-- anyway, he talked a bunch yesterday about jobs and that the Army is now 100% gay, forever, TEH END.

The REAL gem, however, was the Tea Party response as given by Michele Bachmann:

HAHAHAHA!  She never looks at the camera!  Whodatbitchlookinat?!

Also:  NPR's SOTU word cloud, generated by Facebook users who described the speech with three words.  The most common word?  Salmon.


Arkansas Grocery Store Protects Children From... What, Exactly?

Us Magazine recently featured a charming a cover with a picture of big gay parents Elton John and David Furnish with their newly adopted gayby.  While I personally am a bit creeped out by these oldsters and their little poop machine, one Arkansas grocery store got a bit carried away. 

Aaaaaah!  No only is gay adoption going to steal our children and gay them up, but it's going to ruin their shopping experiences!

 Listen, nobody really likes looking at Mr. and Mrs. John, but do we need to hide the fact that they have a kid now?  
BTW, readers, if you're inclined, feel free to call Harp's about it:  870-425-6556.

Monday, January 24, 2011

High Heel Fuckery Continues

Remember the hiking high heels?

Well now you can swim in style!

I am actually speechless.  Let's just refer to this as art, shall we?  Otherwise my brain may just explode. 


Cuz Cookies Are Just As Good, Right?

Hearings began today in Des Moines on the Iowa Marriage Amendment. 

"The Iowa Marriage Amendment (IMA) seeks to put a question on the 2013 ballot that would define marriage in the Iowa constitution as a heterosexual union – and thereby reverse the 2009 Iowa Supreme Court ruling that brought gay marriage to the Midwest.

"The measure is supported by 56 out of 60 Republicans in the House and supporters claim all 60 GOP members will likely vote for the measure, which has little – if any – support among Democrats."

Supporters for the measure are meeting to pray for its successful passage, which of course isn't surprising.  What IS surprising is that these numbskulls, led by Bob Vander Plaats, are bringing a little something extra for any gay protesters they might encounter.

Bob Vander Plaats:  Let them eat cake.
"'Several of us plan to bring a token of Christian love (like a small bag of cookies or other treats) to share with homosexual activists who we'll be encountering Monday,' the group wrote in a newsletter to supporters. 'It's time we dispel lies about Christians, by tangibly showing love to people who struggle with homosexuality.'"

Oh, great!  You strip me of my right to marry-- but at least I get a cookie!  Delightful.  I'll just go home now and wait for the bus to pick me up and take me to the conversion camp.  Thanks!

I wonder if the Iowan families that have married gay couples will be mollified by cookies?  Somehow I doubt it.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Americans Once Again Prove Themselves to be Bigots

Okay, let's play "Let's Pretend."  Imagine your state's governor.  Now imagine that there is a vacant seat in your state's Supreme Court.  Now imagine he appointed a Jewish lawyer as a judge in that seat.  Wouldn't it be insane if half the state started criticizing him for appointing that lawyer just because he's Jewish?  Of course, you say.  That is straight up bigotry.

Now imagine that it's a Muslim that he appointed-- because that's just what happened in New Jersey, and guess what?  The right wing went nuts.

This guy CLEARLY hates America and wants us all to surrender to the terrorists.

"Last week, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R) announced seven judgeship appointments to the New Jersey Superior Court, including the appointment of Sohail Mohammed to serve on the court in Passaic County. Mohammed is an immigration lawyer in Clifton, NJ who notably defended many Muslims caught up in post-Sept. 11 dragnets, in which the Department of Justice quickly and secretly arrested hundreds of Muslims in the wake of the attacks. Often, the false pretense of an immigration violation was used to hold these men for many months, even though a vast majority of them had no connection to terrorism whatsoever.

"Several prominent anti-Muslim voices on the right have reacted with characteristic vitriol to the elevation of a Muslim in the U.S. justice system, calling Mohammed 'the enemy' and accusing Christie of turning New Jersey into a 'Sharia State.'"

These dumbasses should just paint signs on their foreheads that say "I am a bigot" and get it over with.  I can't help but wish these guys weren't Americans-- it's their bigotry that gives us a bad name abroad.


Yet Another Sign of the Apocalypse


This is Utter Torture

Many websites urge you to tweet, email, like, etc.-- well, this one wants you to do nothing.  In an age where Americans are super connected to an infinite source of information-- the internet-- this one stands out in that it tells you to take a break.  You're supposed to listen to some gorram ocean waves, sit back, and relax.  If you touch your mouse or keyboard, the 2-minute timer starts over and a big FAIL appears on your screen.

Zen is just not for me.

I, of course, only lasted 30 seconds. 


Mama Bear Better Stay Out of Australia

While I'm not a fan of Julian Assange, I despise Sarah Palin even more.  So I got a warm fuzzy over this statement from Robert Stary, Assange's lawyer:

"On her Facebook page, Palin suggests that Assange should be 'pursued with the same urgency as al-Qaida and Taliban leaders.'

 I suggest you leave your gun at home for this one, Sarah.

"Anyone who incites others to commit violence against his client, even outside Australia, Stary says, is violating Australian law, and can be held accountable for it.

"'Certainly if Sarah Palin or any of those other politicians come to Australia, for whatever purpose, then we can initiate a private prosecution, and that's what we intend to do,' Stary said."

Thank goodness SOMEONE knows the difference between freedom of speech and potentially damaging hate-mongering.


Idaho: Don't Be a Woman in This State. Just Don't.

Congratulations, Idaho!  You've proved yourself to be the dickbaggiest state when it comes to a woman's right to choose.

Planned Parenthood filed a complaint with the Idaho Board of Pharmacy alleging that on November 6th, a Planned Parenthood patient came to a Nampa Walgreens seeking to fill her prescription to treat uterine bleeding.  The patient was turned away because the pharmacist felt that the bleeding MIGHT have been the result of an abortion.

See, ladies?  Not a Macy's in sight.  Don't move here.

"The prescription was for a Planned Parenthood patient for Methergine, a medicine used to prevent or control bleeding of the uterus following childbirth or an abortion.

"'Methergine is not an abortifacient and it serves multiple purposes in postpartum care,' the practitioner wrote in her complaint. 'I believe the pharmacist wrongly applied the conscience protections.'

"The Idaho Legislature passed a law last year that gives pharmacists and other health care providers the right to refuse to provide any health care service or dispense any drugs that violate their conscience. Lawmakers could readdress the issue this session."

Apparently the pharmacist called the nurse practitioner that wrote the prescription to inquire as to why the prescription was needed, and invoked the conscience clause when the nurse refused to give the information based on patient confidentiality.

This is why laws like this don't fucking work.  How the hell is it my pharmacist's place to go seeking out my personal information?  It isn't.  Hey!  Morality police and whackjob fascists!  I have some advice for you:  Do your fucking job and leave your Bible at home.

[Idaho Press]

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Biggest Threat to Marriage is No Longer the Gays

It's Facebook!  I bet you National Organization for Marriage won't take THEM on.

"It used to be the tell-tale lipstick on the collar. Then there were the give-away texts that spelled the death knell for many marriages.  But now one in five divorces involve the social networking site Facebook, according to a new survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.  A staggering 80 per cent of divorce lawyers have also reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence of cheating."

While never on Facebook, I can now fault two of my breakups due to infidelity discovered on social networking media (and I'm not saying who did the cheating).  As communication technology gets more advanced, cheating is easier and easier-- albeit with a larger paper trail.  What's next-- devices that can send virtual handjobs?  Hmmm.  I need a cold shower.

Wingnut Wants to Allow Guns on College Campuses

Are you fucking kidding me?

 Greg Evers:  Let's protect our students against... uh...

"A state lawmaker has introduced a bill that would allow permitted firearms to be carried on college and university campuses. Florida currently prohibits concealed weapons on all school campuses, one of 49 states that either bar them outright or leave the issue up to individual schools.

"The proposal comes in the wake of a mass shooting in Arizona and the accidental shooting death of a Florida State University student. The police chiefs of Florida's state universities, including UF Police Chief Linda Stump, have come out in unanimous opposition to the measure.

"'I don't think you're going to find anybody in higher education in law enforcement who is going to want guns on their campus,' Stump said."

To include the motherfucking students!  I don't know about you, but I know when I was college age I spent THE ENTIRE TIME DRUNK.  Do we want a bunch of crazed and drunken fratboys running around ARMED?!


February: Let's Ignore the Douchetards

Dana Milbank, a columnist featured in the Washington Post, is troubled that he writes so much about Sarah Palin:

"The media obsession with Palin began naturally and innocently enough, when the Alaska governor emerged as an electrifying presence on the Republican presidential ticket more than two years ago. But then something unhealthy happened: Though Palin was no longer a candidate, or even a public official, we in the press discovered that the mere mention of her name could vault our stories onto the most-viewed list. Palin, feeding this co-dependency and indulging the news business's endless desire for conflict, tweeted provocative nuggets that would help us keep her in the public eye -- so much so that this former vice presidential candidate gets far more coverage than the actual vice president."

His solution?  Declare February a Palin-free month.  He won't write about her for the entire month.

February:  The month Sarah leaves us alone and gets a real job.

I agree with him.  Do you think that wacko would have published the gross graphic targeting congresspeople if we hadn't given her the platform to do so?

It brings to mind a lot of other hateful people who wouldn't have any staying power or ability to harm if we just didn't talk about them.  For instance: Westboro Baptist Church, otherwise known as the "God Hates Fags" people.  When these nutjobs threatened to picket the funerals of the Tucson shooting victims, several of you asked me to write about it.  I won't.  I refuse to give my blog to assholes as a way of promoting their image.

So I'm going to join Milbank.  Let's stop giving Sarah publicity-- and thus money-- because she honestly doesn't deserve it. 


HRC Urges President to Ignore ENDA in Favor of Bullying

The New York Times did a piece in which various interest groups were asked what topics President Obama should touch on in his annual State of the Union Address.  In yet another WTF moment, HRC spokesman Fred Sainz (you know, the guy who said the repeal of DADT meant that we wouldn't have to do anything more for equality) urged the President to address bullying.

 Fred Sainz:  Once again urging us to not bother legislators with our rights.

"This past year Americans were confronted with the epidemic of bullying against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people that goes on in our schools. The State of the Union address would be an appropriate time for the President to assert leadership on this moral issue and call on all schools to address the problem head on."

Listen, bullying is a terrible thing, and it should stop.  However, aren't there more concrete, tangible goals he can tackle... oh, like, marriage equality?  Or ENDA?  Bullying can't be stopped with legislative efforts, but these things can.  Let's not ignore our major goals in favor of the issues that are getting headlines.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tea Party: Cut Costs! Except For When it Comes to Hiring My Friends.

Amid claims that she was streamlining her office, South Carolina gubernatorial newbie Nikki Haley has given sweeping, huge pay increases to her cronies working for her.

Vote for me!  I'll hire you all on at my office!

"Haley’s deputy chief of staff for communications and legislative affairs – Trey Walker – will be paid $122,775 a year. That’s a 42.3 percent increase over the second-highest paid staffer in the Sanford administration.
Haley’s top lawyer, Swati Patel, will be paid $102,000 a year – which is a 36 percent increase over the $75,000 a year that Sanford paid his top lawyer.
Haley’s other two deputy chiefs of staff, former Rep. Ted Pitts (policy and cabinet affairs) and Katherine Haltiwanger (operations) will be paid $90,000 and $80,000 a year, respectively.
Sanford’s office had just one employee who made a six figure salary – Mark Sanford ($106,078). That salary is set by law and will not change – meaning Haley will also be paid $106,078 a year."

Are you freaking kidding me?  What is with this insane group of people?  They ran on fiscal conservation-- yet request obscene sums in earmarks.  They promise smaller government, yet increase their staff salaries.  The next few years are going to be a hoot as we see these chumps violating their campaign promises and the trust of the public.  Start popping the corn now.

You know what?  This is too entertaining-- this can't be real.  That's it!  She's joking!  She doesn't ACTUALLY think she's running a fiscally conservative platform.  That means that Gov. Haley is OAQ's Comedian of the Week!

Cuz she has to be joking... right?


House Repeals Health Care Reform, No-One Gives A Shit

I am SO tired of these monkeys.

The Republican-lead House voted to repeal the so-called "Obamacare" health care reform today in a largely symbolic vote.  This means approximately nothing, as the Senate is still controlled by Democrats and the President has vowed to veto any such repeal if it comes across his desk.

"The Republican-controlled House has voted to repeal the nation's year-old health care law, clearing the way for the second phase of the "repeal and replace" promise that victorious Republicans made to the voters last fall.
The repeal, which was passed by a vote of 245 to 189, has little or no chance of passing the Senate, where Democratic supporters of the law have the majority. And Obama has vowed to veto it if it reaches his desk.
Republicans said repeal was necessary because the law provides for a government takeover of the health care system, raises taxes and would destroy jobs."

Not only was the vote meaningless, however, but it was contrary to the will of the American people.  Check out the poll graphic from The Washington Post/ABC News:

Only 18% of those polled were in favor of the vote that occurred today.

Dear House:  Listen, assholes, there's more important shit going on than your fucking grandstanding.  Not only was this a wasted effort, but it was one that no-one wanted.  For once the citizens of our country aren't fooled by your misinformation.  So why are you taking this potentially damaging political tack?


New Alabama Governor Proselytizes-- The Rest of America Isn't Surprised

Yet more tomfoolery from an newly elected GOP Governor.  During  a speech he gave at a church, he had this to say about his state's non-Christian residents:

Meet America's Newest Douchetard

“But if you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have, if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister,” he said.
“Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”
What I find REALLY funny is this is a speech given in the church formerly led by the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  The topic?  Tolerance on the basis of race.  Alabama has come a long way, folks-- they'll tolerate you if you're black, but make a special point of saying not if you're a black muslim.


A Wrinkle in Time was one of my FAVORITE books as a child, so it only makes sense that I would love this.  As part of the 90-second Newbery Contest, these kids performed the entirety of the book in 90 seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen, A Wrinkle in Time:

Zeb Atlas Plus Pearly Gates= WTF

Pearly Gates did a cover of Diana Ross' "Love Hangover" starring her in-video love interest Zeb Atlas.  Zeb, to those of you who are scratching your heads, starred in the film Best Men Parts 1 & 2, which is a movie... uh... grown ups only.  Gay ones.  

I want to know how he moves his head, it looks physically impossible.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

This is Why OAQ Always Called in Sick So Often

Evidently, some men are actually allergic to their own semen.

Wait!  Don't use that, I used it to...

"The condition, known as post-orgasmic illness syndrome or POIS, has been documented since 2002. Symptoms include feverishness, runny nose, extreme fatigue and burning eyes, which can last for up to a week. Some physicians had suggested that the disorder was psychosomatic, but Marcel Waldinger, a professor of sexual psychopharmacology at Utrecht University in the Netherlands, and his colleagues demonstrated in two papers in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that the syndrome was allergic in nature and that it might be possible to desensitize men to the problem."

I would just murder myself.  Luckily, I am not allergic to my own semen.  Or anyone else's.  Just puttin' it out there.  


RoboCheney Considers Getting A Heart

In an interview with NBC News, former Vice President Dick Cheney stated that he was unsure whether or not he wanted to get a heart replacement or just stick with the replacement valve he has currently.

"The former vice president, who served under President George W. Bush, told NBC that he has adapted to the heart pump and its accessories, which include a vest that holds the pump control, two batteries and a power cord that runs to the mechanism inside his chest."

Dude, if I had to hike around wearing half a cardio OR in order to stay alive, I'd either give up the ghost or get a real goddamn heart.  Of course, if he did that, the Cheneybot would possibly risk human emotions.  He's not used to those.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

OneAngryCultist: Fundie Atheists Aren't Funny

If you’re like me – or even if you’re not like me – chances are that you have friends that run the spiritual gamut from religulous to irreligious. In this great country of ours, with the protections of the Constitution that "… shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" you can rest safely knowing that your right to theism or atheism is protected equally and, with the added bonus of freedom of speech, you can talk about it all you want or not at all. Lately, however, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among some atheist groups where advertisements even as innocuous as the one below seem to be acting a little hostile toward those of religious persuasions.

Now, I have no problem with atheism – it’s just not a personal path for me; likewise I would hope that my atheist friends would share the same respect and we’d all just agree to disagree on this particular matter. This trend, however, is really obnoxious for the same reason that Xtian ™ and other religious propaganda is obnoxious – it perpetuates an “us versus them” mentality and presupposes one paradigm is somehow superior to the other, thus creating a culture of exclusion as opposed to dialogue.

There are some people who just happen to be atheist or “apatheist” who I greatly enjoy reading about or watching on TV such as Richard Dawkins, Bill Maher, Stephen Fry and many others. With the exception of the Fry, I will say that Dawkins takes his anti-religion stance a little far and Maher, while I can respect his comedy does jump to some pretty interesting conclusions about the nature of religion and religiosity. Equally, there are some religious people I greatly look up to who happen to be religious but also go a little far in their dismissal of atheism and non-theism.

So, why am I angry – well, douchebaggery such as that exhibited in these signs is just stupid and doesn’t help the case for atheism or atheist groups at all and really casts a negative light on them in a culture where atheism is a minority belief and held by many to be somehow suspect. If people want to get together for rational discussion, by all means do it and I’ll support it but for those on any side that somehow decide their paradigm is superior to my own or another’s; well STFU and get over yourself.


Newsflash: OneAngryQueer is a Sellout

So some of you may have noticed that the ads I had on my site have disappeared.  A close friend of mine wanted to give me a leg up and click a million times on all my ads.  Google thought it was click fraud on my part and closed the account.

I now use a different ad service-- infolinks.  You'll find some words highlighted-- if the ad that pops up interests you, feel free to click.  Don't go gonzo.  I need to eat somehow, and ad revenue is important!  No more click fraud! 

PSA over.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Ian Awesome in Transit

I'm traveling to Seattle today, so probably won't do much posting, unless the train from Portland to Seattle has Wi-Fi.  Normally scheduled programming to resume tomorrow. 

Gun Store Owners to Loughner: Thanks for the Free Publicity!

This just blows me away (pun intended).  Following the Tucson massacre, sales of the Glock that Loughner used to kill 6 Americans have jumped through the roof.

"Instead of hurting sales, the massacre had the $499 semi-automatic pistols -- popular with police, sport shooters and gangsters -- flying out the doors of his Glockmeister stores in Mesa and Phoenix.

"'We’re at double our volume over what we usually do,' Wolff said two days after the shooting spree that also left 14 wounded, including Democratic Representative Gabrielle Giffords, who remains in critical condition."

This is insane.  In Arizona alone gun sales increased 60 percent, with huge increases in states all across the country-- with the largest jumps in states with lax restrictions on the sale of guns.  Overall since the shooting, the sale of guns has risen 5 percent in the US.

My question:  is it because people suddenly are stricken with this fear that they need to be protected, or is it because the efficacy of the weapon has been proven very publicly?  I'm astounded either way, but I fear it may be the latter-- the ability of the extended clip was demonstrated quite easily by Mr. Loughner, as he was able to fire 33 rounds into the crowd without reloading.

Listen, this is an industry driven by murder and crime, with death as its advertisement.  Can we-- as the most violent nation in the first world-- please start safeguarding our citizens with the word of law, instead of the ability to carry concealed murder weapons without a permit (as is the law in Arizona)?

We have the right to bear arms and I believe in it.  However, the "arms" that I use to protect myself from crime and government injustice are non-violent protest, direct action, and civil disobedience.  Their efficacy has been proven.  I urge others to use them instead of visiting Mr. Wolff's "Glockmeister" stores.

Or do we need more 9 year old girls to die for our "safety?"


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Introducing: OneAngryPerv and the Pantsless Subway Ride SF

Note from Ian: Introducing Atom Ion! Not only is he a big fan of mine-- but I'm a big fan of his photography. I invited him to be a contributor to our site-- I figure I'll get an endless source of hot boy photos, since that's his chosen medium. I'll shut up now, here he is:

It's performance art. Started in NYC. A bunch of people who seemingly forgot to wear pants meet at a certain subway station and go for a ride. Thankfully it has spread throughout the world.

I just happened to be in San Francisco. Jan 9, 2011 in time for theirs.


Introducing OneAngryCultist: The Plastic Skull Made Him Do It

Note from Ian: I'd like to introduce my good friend Sebastian Lux, our very own OneAngryCultist. He is knowledgeable about all things religious and I invited him to be a weekly contributor about the state of things in the spiritual/political realms. Welcome, Sebastian, and now I'mma let you finish.

So, in a surprise twist – not only was the shooter of US Rep. Gabrielle Giffords a little bit off his rocker, but he was also – surprise drumroll – a honest to god cultist. According to the NY Daily News:

“Hidden within a camouflage tent behind Jared Lee Loughner’s home sits an alarming altar with a skull sitting atop a pot filled with shriveled oranges.
A row of ceremonial candles and a bag of potting soil lay nearby, photos reveal.
Experts on Sunday said the elements are featured in the ceremonies of a number of occult groups.”

So, in addition to supposedly being crazy, Loughner may or may not have been sacrificing oranges to Halloween skull deities.

This wouldn’t be so disturbing in most situations, but particularly problematic with this case is: A.) Loughner was a nut job and, B.) anyone who buys potting soil is now perfectly suspect for participating in occult activities and C.) Anyone who participates in religious traditions outside the Christian ™ mainstream can now be suspect for participating in Un-American Activities.

Why is this important to bring up now? Well, if you’ll recall, it wasn’t so long ago in this quaint little country of ours that the Fundi-nuts decided that there was a great Satanic threat to – well, everyone – which resulted in hundreds of accusations against people who were a little different from the norm, most of whom didn’t have anything to do with anything particularly weird or culty. At the same time we witnessed a rise in violence against neopagans, Wiccans, practitioners of Afro-Diasporic religions, atheists and even agnostics.

Irresponsible reporting such as that in the daily news article could very easily lead to another Satanic Panic and totally distract from the matters at hand and easily hurt people who’ve never owned a gun or made offerings of oranges to Halloween decorations but who definitely buy potting soil and likely are generally good law abiding citizens.


This Panda Made Me Scream With Happiness

Good friend and future contributor Atom Ion found this video and imagined it had me in the panda suit.  I have to say, it's likely behavior to come from Ian Awesome.

Tony Apollo Featured by Favorite Hunks

My friend and featured Hot Man Tony Apollo was just featured on Favorite Hunks-- check it out (also he says nice things about OAQ, so whoopee for me!):

[Favorite Hunks]