Friday, December 31, 2010

Lord Bieber, Beloved By Teen Girls, HATED By Grown Bigots. Plus! He's Canadian. *Shudder*

Click on over to Wonkette to read their delightful (as usual) piece describing the "Boycott companies who support the Ground Zero Mosque (Starting with GQ)" Facebook page.  For some reason, these loony toons have decided that Justin Bieber loves Muslims, so he better be ready for the "back lash.*"

 Tigars are scarry!

*side note:  is he legal to start receiving back lashes?  I don't think so, no matter HOW kinky those durned Canadians are.

WOW.  These guys were raised in America guys-- there you have it.  The genetic heritage that produces the future generations of America also produced this. 


 Lord Bieber is displeased.  Feed him your daughters and he might spare you.

But guess what?  Bieber never said a gorram thing about the "Ground Zero Mosque" (in reality a community center with prayer space three blocks away and completely out of sight of Ground Zero).  The whole story is fake!  The only thing we can suss out his Bieberness might have said that would have offended the Right Honorable Patriots of Amurrica is the following:

You better learn, Justin-- Here in MAN COUNTRY we blow shit up, not pray for people.

Darn him and his pinko Canadian ways! 


The Pope: In the Good Old Days, We Could Touch Kids All We Wanted! The Rest of Us: *Horrified Silence*

Holy Senile Pontiff, Batman!

Hey!  I'm a nice guy, really!  RAWR!  BLACK MAGIC!

I'm sad to say that yes, the leader of the largest organized religion in the world said this:

"'In the 1970s, paedophilia was theorised as something fully in conformity with man and even with children,' the Pope said.

"'It was maintained — even within the realm of Catholic theology — that there is no such thing as evil in itself or good in itself. There is only a "better than" and a "worse than". Nothing is good or bad in itself.'"

Click on this to see the entire world's reaction:

REALLY?  So we finally have confirmation of something we both dreaded and suspected-- that you, Fuhrer Ratzboner, have given tacit approval of the sexual exploitation and abuse of children?

He then goes on to say that kiddie porn is becoming acceptable.

I'm speechless!

Well not really:  He claims that the Catholic Church isn't interested in labeling things as "evil."  Uh.  Since WHEN?!  I think the millions of gays, heretics, non-Christians, ad nauseum who have been murdered and oppressed over the millennia feel that your Church's stance might have been a bit different all these years, Ratzy.

Dear Holy See:  You guys really need to lock him in his Popemobile and throw away the key.  He is officially starting to blather like an insane person. 

[The Belfast Telegraph]

Reggie Bush: Are Homophobic Comments Offensive to Gays?

YES, Reggie, they are.

In a display of brilliance, Reggie asked on Twitter if the term "no homo" was offensive.  Once it was clear to him that it was, he asked people to not use it.

Please excuse Reggie, his helmet wasn't effective and he now cannot control the flow of consciousness stupidity on his Twitter due to head injuries.

If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is used as such:

"You guys are great!  I love all of you, no homo."  Translation:  "My love for you is purely platonic!  If it were otherwise, we would be sodomizing each other, and that is shameful for men to do."

Okay, props for telling people to not be gay-bashy, but seriously-- a comment used to defend statements possibly construed as gay because you're concerned that you might appear to be a "Greek Lover--" that's the freaking DEFINITION of homophobia.

Bless his heart, he's learnin' tho, ain't he?  And what's all that crap about Hanukkah about?



I normally don't make New Year's Resolutions.  I start things, sometimes on New Year's-- NYE will always be the day that I began my longest and arguably most significant relationship to date-- but I always feel that it's stupid to only make a resolution TODAY.  EVERY day is for resolve, for goals, for... journeys.  Why only the first of the year?

Well, this year I DO have a goal that I'm starting on the first.  It's a personal bar that I'm setting for myself, and it is as follows:

By the end of 2011, my deeds and actions will have been such that my heroes admire me as much as I admire them.

That's going to take some work.  I know a lot of people I respect a GREAT DEAL, but I think I'm up to it.  I AM, after all, Ian Awesome.

What about you?  Have you decided to test your resolve this year? 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Dude Films Some Shit in a Snowstorm

Found via Neatorama, this video was filmed Saturday, edited at (seemingly) the speed of light, and uploaded Sunday.  

The subject is New York City during the recent blizzard.  This piece is eerie, moving, and strangely inspirational by the end.  Roger Ebert had this to say:

"This film deserves to win the Academy Award for best live-action short subject.
(1) Because of its wonderful quality. (2) Because of its role as homage. It is directly inspired by Dziga Vertov's 1929 silent classic 'Man With a Movie Camera.' (3) Because it represents an almost unbelievable technical proficiency. It was filmed during the New York blizzard of Dec. 26, and Jamie Stuart e-mailed it to me with this time stamp: December 27, 2010 4:18:18 PM CST.
"You can tell from the cinematography he knew exactly what he was doing and how to do it. He held the Vertov film in memory. Stuart must already been thinking of how he would do the edit and sound. Any professional will tell you the talent exhibited here is extraordinary."

I watched this twice, and I'm glad to have stumbled across it.  I normally have a particularly hard time, emotionally, during the holidays.  This video gave me some things to think about in reference to human spirit, the inevitability of our environment, and hope at the dying of the year.  Hmmm.  

"Man in a Blizzard," also known as "Idiot With A Tripod":

Maru's Reign in 2010

As you may know, I cannot be exposed to media containing that strange, magical creature known as Maru without being turned into a hypnotized, gibbering mess.  Hours have been wasted watching this cat jump in an out of boxes.

 Maru:  Almost as good at espionage as Steve Jobs.

Now hours more can be wasted!  Catsparella has thoughtfully put together the year in review for Maru fans, to include photos and video.  I avoided clicking on all them (I need to do SOME work today, after all) so limited myself to viewing this one:  Maru and the Big Box.

Anyway, here's the whole shebang:


Newsflash: Apple Doesn't Have Your Interests at Heart, Wants to Make a Quick Buck

I'm going to keep my commentary on this to a minimum, because I know that the various rabidly pro-Jobsian geeks I love will jump on me, but hey!  Here's the article, kids:

"Apple Inc., maker of the iPhone and iPad, was accused in a lawsuit of allowing applications for those devices to transmit users’ personal information to advertising networks without customers’ consent.

Shhh!  Jobs can hear you.

"The complaint, which seeks class action, or group, status, was filed on Dec. 23 in federal court in San Jose, California. The suit claims Cupertino, California-based Apple’s iPhones and iPads are encoded with identifying devices that allow advertising networks to track what applications users download, how frequently they’re used and for how long.

"'Some apps are also selling additional information to ad networks, including users’ location, age, gender, income, ethnicity, sexual orientation and political views,' according to the suit."

While it is unclear to me whether these "identifying devices" are placed by Apple or the apps' creators, isn't it Apple's responsibility to keep this crap from giving our personal information to strangers?  I find it amusing that the creator of the iconic "Smashing Big Brother" commercial has now been subject to a lawsuit accusing them of BECOMING Big Brother.


Mississippi Rep: Stop Picking on Bigots!

Citing concerns that learning about civil rights will somehow impede his children's ability to read and write, MS Rep. John Moore (R) has filed a lawsuit (again) in an attempt to repeal historic legislation requiring Mississippian children to learn about the struggles of the civil rights movement throughout the race wars that plagued the South for decades.

"I just want to make sure it's teaching the truth and facts and not being accusatory of one group of people or the other. I don't want it to be somebody's philosophical idea of what civil rights are."

My name is Sir Racism-a-lot Douchebaggerton, and I approve this message.


Initially upon glancing at this gem of a news item I found on Pam's House Blend, I thought for sure it was in reference to a controversial measure proposed in California that would make available curricula teaching about figures and events in the history of gay rights (a measure designed to curb bullying and teach them damnfool kids some respeck).  No.  He's seriously objecting to kids learning about the liberation of black people in Mississippi.

I don't think I really even need to comment on this guy.  I mean, really dude, I don't think anyone agrees that "Racism is BAD" is "somebody's philosophical idea of what civil rights are."  I'm pretty sure it's accepted as truth.

Really, Mississippi?  You still produce dumbasses like this guy?


Inspiration for Rosie the Riveter Passes Away

Geraldine Doyle, the face of Rosie the Riveter and iconic image embodying the ideals of the women's movement, has died according to her family.

Far from mere war propaganda, Rosie inspired millions of women to reach for their dreams.

" 'Rosie the Riveter' is the image of an independent woman who is control of her own destiny," said Gladys Beckwith, former director of the Michigan Women's Historical Center and Hall of Fame. "She was a gracious, beautiful woman. Her death is the end of an era, and we need to take note of that. We need to respect what she stood for."

RIP, Geraldine, and thanks.  I'm sure many of my sapphic sisters looked to your image for inspiration, and you will be missed.  

[The Lansing State Journal] 

Joseph Farah Reiterates the Failing of the Far Right: Exclusion is Preferred to Diversification

Ha!  THIS guy.  Before I say anything about his dumbassery, check out his douchey stache.  While I have had just about every permutation of facial hair imaginable, at least it always MATCHED MY HAIR IN COLOR.  Dude!  If you are tryin' to get 20-year old poon with a black stache, color your hair too!

Joe needs the gays' help!  If only for his hair color.

Anyway, this fine example of a midlife crisis had this to say about GOProud (a gay Republican group generally hated by everyone because it's either gay... or Republican):

"Purge is not a bad word. It simply means, according to the dictionary definition, 'to rid of whatever is impure or undesirable; cleanse; purify.' Conservatives need to purge from their movement anything that is not conservative. They shouldn't be attempting to broaden the definition of 'conservative.' They shouldn't be trying to build a bigger tent in the failed model of the Republican Party. They shouldn't be revising or lowering their standards. And they absolutely shouldn't be embracing enemies of the moral values that have defined the movement from the beginning.

"That's why it's time for true conservatives to get their act together as America faces its greatest challenges ever in the next two years. God cut Gideon's army up, slicing and dicing it until it represented only a tiny fraction of its numbers. God didn't want a big army to win victory. He wanted a miracle performed by a tiny army listening carefully and being in obedience to His commands. God purged thousands from Gideon's army. Conservatives need God's help, not GOProud's."

Good point, Joe!  Except for one thing:  This ain't fuckin' pre-Christian Judea.  The world has moved on since then, and we are now in 21st century America.  America isn't a country founded on the principles of exclusion.  You and your cronies would just LOVE to be able to kick out all the icky gays, Jews, blacks, and Mexicans, I'm sure, but answer me this:  Who would you hire illegally to do your dry cleaning?

Gay Abe said, back in the day, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."  Do you think your failed "big tent" is going to stand on its own by enacting the fine old tradition of elitism amongst its ranks? 

Fine.  Try it.  See how it works out for ya, Joe.  Your fancy dream image of a small elect few Repubs ruling over the rest of us heathen Americans with the mandate of Heaven is that.  Just a dream.

Peter Spriggs: A Complete Spacky Shit-Muncher

This delightful example of British tastycakes queerdom (though I shan't go anywhere near his Smegma-bar) takes on Peter Spriggs top 10 "Myths About Homosexuality."  Aside from the fact that he's a hot beast, he makes for a good listen as he tears apart one of America's most silly asshats.  Click on it!  Hurry up.

Not only does this rare delicacy have a posh British accent, he also has a penchant for "cowboy boots, skinny jeans, and Pringles."  If you'll excuse me, I have to go dress like a wrangler and seduce someone with potato chips.

The Most Confusing Map in the World Or: Ian Awesome's Newest Hobby

I'll admit it it, I'm a huge language geek (speaking five of them either fluently or with proficiency, and being able to babble a smattering of a handful of others), so this map is, while confusing, completely fascinating.  Via JoeMyGod:

It shows the eight regional dialects of North America, as well as the individual sub-dialects found in places like Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and the Hamptons.

Neat.  Full, massive, headache here.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Our Year in Schlock

Every year DJ Earworm puts together a mash-up of the year's biggest pop hits, and below is 2010's.  There's too much fuckin' Ke$ha in it, but then, that's my opinion of 2010 in general.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Study: Gay Couples Practice Egalitarianism in the Home. Bigots: Well, Shit.

Next time someone tells you what a woman or a man's role in the family is, tell them to shove it. 

A recent study in Australia shows that people in same-sex child-rearing relationships are far more likely to share tasks related to raising their child-- meaning an equal division of labor ranging from changing diapers to bringin' home the bacon.  In FACT, results indicated that it is more likely amongst lesbian couples that each parent have a part-time job-- enabling more time to be spent with the child by both parents.

Blah blah, this is all very boring sounding, but what it boils down to is this:  We homos have to work harder to have children.  When we DO have them, we work accordingly harder to be good parents.  Thus!  We end up being awesome parents.

Suck it, homophobes.

This is where babies come from, right?

*please note that does not mean OAQ will be having children.  Oooooh no.  Not me.  I ain't raisin' nothin' whose natural instinct is to feed off juice from lady glands.  Freakin' vampires.

[The Sydney Morning Herald]

Science Did Some More Stuff I Don't Really Get But it Looks Damn Cool

I totally, when I first saw this photo, thought it was a still from the film Star Trek Generations.

What are we looking at?  A lightning bolt, close up, taken with an x-ray camera.  You can tell that most of the x-rays emitted by the lightning is at the tip, where it's really bright. 

Wow.  Dude, are we in the fucking future?  Taking portraits of lightning now?  Where the hell is my jetpack?

Anyway, this is what I first thought the pic was showing:

See?  We're totally in the future.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Rep. Tom Coburn, (R) OK: All Americans Will Have to Sacrifice! Lower Class Americans: You Mean Us, Right?

Here's a hint to dumbasses calling for Americans to tighten their belts: don't do it during the holiday season.  It's a sensitive subject for many of us.

Please sir, can I have some more?  Uh, money? 

In discussing the incoming Congress and the balance of power shifting due to an increased Republican presence on the Hill, this CNN article had an interesting quote (thanks to Shakesville for pointing this out):

"However, Republicans have made clear that cutting spending is their top priority. Incoming House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, is promising weekly votes on spending cuts, and conservative Republican Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma warned of a national catastrophe if the deficit doesn't get reduced.

"'There will not be one American that will not be called to sacrifice' under the needed spending cuts to deal with the deficit, Coburn said on 'FOX News Sunday.'"

I would like to point out:  Mr. Coburn voted to extend the infamous "Bush Era" tax cuts for the rich.  I can think of SOME Americans that he doesn't want to call to sacrifice.

Mother.  Fucker.

Don't call ME to sacrifice, Mr. Coburn.  I've sacrificed enough.  I wasn't able to give my fucking mother a Christmas present this year, sir.  Were you?

You dare ask for Americans to give MORE to our tanking economy-- while preserving the wealth of the financial top percentile of the nation?  What kind of GD sense does that make?  This is not a sacrifice Coburn and his slimy ilk is asking America to make, it's a sacrifice he's asking poor America to make.

From another CNN article:

"The richest 1% of U.S. households had a net worth 225 times greater than that of the average American household in 2009, according to analysis conducted by the Economic Policy Institute, a liberal think tank. That's up from the previous record of 190 times greater, which was set in 2004."

The gap between rich and poor is widening, dude, and I'm not interested in covering the asses of the rich and powerful.  I'd like my family to have a happy Christmas next year, and we're not going to be able to do so under your plan, Mr. Coburn.  Get a clue!  During a time where poor kids in New York have to send pleas for gifts to Chelsea gay Santas in order to have a holiday, you come up with this fuckery?

 I could just spit. 

 Tom Coburn at open mic night.

Oh WAIT!  I'm taking this too seriously.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Silly me!  He's JOKING.  I'm going to name him Comedian of the Week!  Clever man.

Because he HAS to be joking.  Right?

[CNN link 1]

[CNN link 2]

John Stewart: A Better Force for Political Change Than... Politicians?

Check out John Aravosis' post on AMERICAblog pointing out the craziness that is the current trend of no-spine-ism in the Democratic Party.

It's in reference to the 9/11 First Responder bill-- many of these heroes who were first to the scene on Ground Zero are now suffering from cancer, respiratory illness, and a host of other health issues due to their work trying to rescue people from the rubble.  They were exposed to a variety of toxins and are now fighting for their lives.  The bill would grant funds to help treat them.  No-brainer, right?

Well, for some reason the Republicans have thrown these guys under the bus (don't pay for their health care!  That's durn Commooonizzum!) and they tried to block this great piece of legislation.  And it looked like they were going to succeed!  Opposition to their obstructionist tactics seemed lacking... until...!

Stewart for President in 2016

John Stewart to the rescue!

from AMERICAblog:

"Many are crediting TV comedian Jon Stewart with shaming Republicans in Congress to stop blocking passage of the 9/11 first-responders health bill. It didn't have to be that way. Why did we need Jon Stewart at all? Isn't it obvious to anyone - even those of you who don't work in PR, and have nothing to do with politics - that blocking health benefits to the people who put their lives on the line on 9/11 just might be a political loser.

I'm glad that Jon Stewart invited the first responders to his show, and apparently the public pressure forced the GOP to relent, but why didn't the President invite the first responders to the White House? He was willing to have a beer summit with an irrelevant cop, why not invite the heroes of 9/11 too?"

Why does it take comedians and troublemakers like Dan Choi and myself to force our leaders into action?  Thankfully, we're ready to do it and are even HAPPY to do it, but wouldn't it be nice if our elected leaders were troublemakers themselves?  


The Labyrinth-- Gaiman Style.

One of the hot debates of my ill-spent youth was this--  David Bowie's package in Labyrinth-- Real or stuffed?

The following video doesn't answer this question.  However, it punishes Amanda Palmer for having terrible eyebrows and features Neil Gaiman in a mullet.  Behold, the remake of Labyrinth (starring Sock Puppet):

You can see the original of this scene on YouTube (I never noticed how pervy the worm seemed til now.  He REALLY wants Ms. Connelly to come inside, meet his "Missus," and drink his "Tea."):

BTW, I believe.  I believe in David Bowie's package. 


I like tattoos, therefore I like underwear model Ryan Keven Goodman.  As do you.  RIGHT NOW.

Israel, Unsurprisingly, isn't All That Rational When it Comes to Palestine

Israel's foreign minister today said that a peace deal with Palestinians was "impossible" and they would continue to consider the Palestinian Authority to be an illegitimate government due to their postponed elections.

 I'm not going to this guy's Seder.


I mean, really, Israel?  If you read the article, there's a ton more info, but it really just boils down to that, doesn't it?


Can we move on with our lives?  We have been dealing with this conflict for FAR too long.  No wonder rockets are still flying across your borders, Foreign Minister Lieberman-- you think peace is impossible, thus it is.

Not to mention your childish tactics when it comes to diplomacy.  One of the top stories on CNN is Israel not only refusing to apologize for the killing of Turkish activists bringing relief to Palestinians by sea, but their response!  Oh my.

"'The ones who need to apologize is the Turkish government for supporting terror regarding the IHH (a Turkish charity tied to the flotilla), Hamas and Hezbollah,' he told a gathering of Israeli ambassadors from around the world."

 This reminds me of nothing more than children pointing to each other on the playground saying "it's his fault."

I mean, I have no clue if IHH is connected to Hamas or any of that, but this "diplomacy by the sword" really ain't workin', Israel.  Up til the flotilla incident, Turkey was Israel's staunchest ally amongst Muslim nations.  Now?

Things ain't doin' so hot.

Your lives are on the line, Israel.  Your country isn't a playground.  Why don't we work on actually being a country instead of a war machine, and then I can stop reading about your bullshit in the news.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Richard Chamberlain: You Won't Be a Successful Actor if You're Openly Gay

Mr. Thorn Birds himself gave an interview to the Advocate to promote his recent role on Brothers & Sisters

 Right, kid, no-one had ANY idea.

Keeping in mind that he was a closet queer for years and heartthrob for my old-ass mom's generation, he had this to say:

"It’s complicated. There’s still a tremendous amount of homophobia in our culture. It’s regrettable, it’s stupid, it’s heartless, and it’s immoral, but there it is. For an actor to be working is a kind of miracle, because most actors aren’t, so it’s just silly for a working actor to say, 'Oh, I don’t care if anybody knows I’m gay' — especially if you’re a leading man. Personally, I wouldn’t advise a gay leading man–type actor to come out."

Well, I read the whole interview and I have to say:  dude may be out of the closet but he's still internalizing a lot of homophobia.  I'm no psychologist, but he just can't seem quick enough to deny any sort of gayification of his career.

Honestly, if I felt the same way, none of you would know about my love for pole, my HIV, my struggles with addiction... and just about everything that makes Ian... well, Awesome.  My victories over these adversities are what make me ME, and only by speaking honestly about them do I help to remove the stigma that these issues have. 

So, Richie, shut your gayelle ass up!  Let the leading men come out!  Gyllenhaal, sock it to us*!

*I have no ulterior motive in wanting Jake Gyllenhaal to come out of the closet.  Oh no.  Not at all. 

[The Advocate]

Ian's Favorite Word!

Everyone knows I love the word "fuck." I get really excited when it's in songs, a la Cee Lo Green.

But who expected this from Enrique Iglesias, for Chrissake?

Saturday, December 25, 2010

This Made Me Bawl Like a Bitch

This gay couple in Chelsea, for reasons they don't understand, got hundreds of letters to Santa.

What is there to do but play Santa?

A Christmas Wish (No Tiny Tim Stuff! Don't Even Think About It!)

So, let me be plain:  I.  Hate.  Christmas.

I know, isn't that terrible?  It's like hating... Democracy.  It's practically Communist.  But there you go.

I come by it honestly, though.  Every holiday season for the past four years has been uniformly terrible, and I've just given up on the whole notion.  Examples:  Last year I got hit in the face by a boyfriend.  Year before I found out I had HIV.  Year before I was a homeless coke fiend.

You get the idea.  I'm kind of a Grinch.

This holiday wasn't particularly stellar-- not nearly as bad though.  Yes, I'm some sort of version of homeless, and my family is so broke we exchanged hugs.  I wish I could say that we were overcome with the Christmas spirit, danced around in circles, sang songs about family togetherness and were happy, but no.  This ain't the fucking movies.  We were a bit glum, but we did okay.

The worst thing I had to endure, though, was a phone call from someone I knew at rehab.

Perhaps endure is the wrong word.  I was happy to hear from her.  You don't spend weeks sharing your soul with a group of people without loving them.  What you hate to hear, however, is that they're using again.

Listen:  I'm not perfect.  I do drink, not to excess, but I know that my addictions counselor would have a fit.  I stay away from drugs, and happily so, but I'm certainly no paragon of sobriety.  I don't judge.  I told her I loved her and that I would help her fix things any way I can.

It breaks my heart though.  It just breaks my heart.

We talked on the phone for a while, I gave her my two cents, and I think when I got off the phone she knew what she had to do.  I hope she does it.  I pray that she does (yes, I DO pray, but don't tell anyone).  I am glad she contacted me.  There are too many people from rehab that I really care about who haven't.  I hope they are safe this Christmas.

Listen:  Christmas is a day like any other.  You do the best that you can to get through the day, and hopefully this one is joyous, but if it's not, you get yourself through, and you work on staying well.

Do I have any particular message tonight?  No.  Is there a Christmas miracle in the works?  Fuck no.  You can't expect miracles.  You have to do it yourself-- no-one else will, especially not a fat man in a suit.  You don't get to exchange gifts every Christmas, and some holidays you don't even get to have a home.  You make do, though, and you get yourself through.

So no miracles.

I have a wish though.  I wish that all of you are safe tonight.  I wish that all of you are well, and that you are taking care of yourself.  Whether you're an addict or not, we all have unique, sometimes terrible, challenges.  I wish-- I pray-- that you overcome them.  And most of all, I pray that you know this:  You are loved, by someone.  At least one person loves you.  It's me!  So take care of yourself. 

And maybe we can hang next Christmas.  And dance around in a circle.  Maybe sing a fucking song.


I love you.  Stay well.

PS-- Here's a picture of a Dalek Christmas tree.  Deal.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Antoine Dodson Has a Very Special Message for Santa

My latest fave performer is the delectable Antoine Dodson.  He rocketed to YouTube fame when he foiled a rape attempt on his sister and then blew up into a cloud of rainbows and unicorns on the local news.  If you haven't seen the auto-tuned version of his testimony, then you are so dumb.  You are really dumb.  For real.

Anyway!  He came up with a charming holiday ditty which was aired on George Lopez.  Merry Christmas!

Plus, here's the original auto-tuned masterpiece:

Monday, December 20, 2010

This Time, it's Personal

hivster is staffed with such suckers, they publish my crap even when it's about nothing interesting (IE: myself).

Check it out:


Voguing: Not Just For Aging Queens

Watch this video, and see how silly gay dances solve everything! 

Really though, it's cool how these guys are taking voguing and turning it into something to bring homeless youths together. 

Administrative Note: Twitter

Again, if you don't want to refresh this page a million times (which I'm sure you do, right?!), you can follow OAQ on Twitter @oneangryqueer.

Conservatives: We're Losing the Culture Wars! America is Lost! OAQ: You're Right! You Should Move to Mexico.

Of course, as evidenced by my recent posts on the Mexican state of affairs, I really shouldn't wish these jabronis on them.

Retired.  For a reason.

Pam Spaulding's Facebook page clued me in to this great column on CitizenLink, an affiliate of Focus on the Family.  Please note that FoF just barely escaped being listed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.  The author, retired Colonel and tired bigot Bill Spencer, had this to say:

"But for today, I fear that our military members in the field are left with these thoughts: 'Does my country not think of me that much? Does the country think it should hobble its forces in the field with these distractions during time of war?  Does the country require us to deal with this, as well? Am I indeed a patriot without a country? What moral madness awaits us next? When bullets are flying at me, and everyone back home is apparently just thinking about themselves and their own private behaviors, it’s too much to ask of me to sacrifice my life.'

"I ask you, fellow citizen, after Saturday’s vote, would you give your life for our Senate? Would you give your life for our president? Or, would you go home to your family? Sadly, you know the answers already. If you never made a phone call or never entered the debate on this issue, it’s too late to care now."

I sometimes feel the need to reiterate to chumps like this fogey:  America wasn't founded on the principle that the majority can discriminate against the minority, asshole.  Any soldier who believed that his place in the Armed Services, the finest group of men and women I have ever met, was to reinforce the backwards ideals and homophobic notions of fringe bigots-- it isn't his place to be in the military.  He needs to get out, and he needs to become an out-of-work plumber. Somewhere else.

Because of this simple reason:  This is America, goddammit.  I swore to protect the Constitution of the United States of America, and that document doesn't have room for your hatred.  I am flabbergasted at the notion of any soldier I have ever known-- patriots all-- thinking something this selfish and disgusting.  They would promptly be drummed out at best, or locked up for treason at worst.  To be frank, it doesn't exist. 

Thank God. 

[CitizenLink] OAQ note: Please only click this if you are prepared to view BS.

The World's Largest Cavern

And I'm not talking about the space between Sarah Palin's ears. 

Check out this pic:

Can you find the spelunkers in this photo?  This was taken at Son Doong, recently discovered in the Vietnamese jungle.  It's now being touted as the largest cavern on planet Earth, and I'm inclined to agree.  Click on over to Neatorama to see the other photos.

No, really, it's fucking amazing.


HRC's Call for Complacency: Gay Rights Struggle Won and We Now Don't Have to do Anything. PS: Send Us Money.

 This motherfucker is the worst thing for gay rights EVER. 

Anyone who has ever discussed gay politics with me knows that the Human Rights Campaign is an organization that annoys me a great deal (yes, maybe even more than it should).  But today the reasons why were reiterated in an article on the Washington Post.

Via AMERICAblog Gay:

"'If you can fight and die for your country, there's absolutely no reason why you can't be granted the full set of rights' that others have, including the ability to marry a same-sex partner, said Fred Sainz, a vice president at the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights group. With the military's policy repealed, he said, 'Americans will deduce that on their own. We won't have to say a thing.'"

 I mean, who is surprised?  HRC has proven over the past few years to be apologists for Democratic candidates, critics of people who ACTUALLY believe in activism (Dan Choi and company), and cautious buggers that refuse to make strong statements in the press supporting gay rights-- all the while raking in donor money.

Why the fuck are these guys still the most prominent gay rights organization in our country?  WTF?  I'm so pissed over this I can't even crack jokes. 

We fought for 17 years to get Don't Ask, Don't Tell repealed.  17 years.  I'm sorry, Joe fucking Solmonese, I'm not going to wait another fucking two decades to get married so that you can keep your job as a fundraiser for do-nothing Democrats. 

[AMERICAblog Gay]

Ryan Reynolds Loves The Gays and Looks Good in Green Computer-Generated Tights

I'm sure he gets enough props, but one of my wet dreams Ryan Reynolds is not only going to star in The Green Lantern, but he loves the gays, is Canadian (I love those guys even if I hate their beer), and just got named People's Sexiest Man Alive.  Here he is.

Ooh!  I know what I want for Xxxmas!

Virginia isn't for Lovers, or: Asshat Conservatives are Poor Losers

This guy's a real winner.

"Following this weekend's vote by the Senate to allow gays to openly serve in the military, Del. Bob Marshall (R-Prince WIlliam) said he is drafting a bill for the 2011 legislative session that would ban them from serving in the Virginia National Guard.

"'This policy will weaken military recruitment and retention, and will increase pressure for a military draft,' Marshall said. 'After 232 years of prohibiting active, open homosexuals from enlisting in our military, President Obama and a majority in Congress are conducting a social experiment with our troops and our national security...In countries where religions and cultures find homosexual acts immoral, the Obama administration's repeal policy will work to the detriment of all American troops in securing local cooperation with our nation's foreign policy goals.'"

Del. Marshall isn't that funny at his weekend job, either.

Del. Marshall, in the immortal words of Antoine Dodson, you are so dumb.  You are really dumb.  For real.

I mean, at this point, it's been repealed on the federal level, the majority of Americans think discriminating in the armed services on the basis of sexual orientation is wrong, and, uh, this bill won't do anything.  The general and legislative counsel for Equality Virginia has confirmed:  the National Guard is subject to the same rules as federal military units. 

My only conclusion is this guy has to be kidding.  Therefore, he is my Comedian of the Week.  HAHAHAHA!  Funny one, Del. Marshall!!!!


Saturday, December 18, 2010

Not Only Am I Hot, But My Friends Are Too

My good friend Evan, aka Tony Apollo, worked with me when we were barbacks at Grand Central in Baltimore. He was a hot beast then, but has only gotten mas delicioso with age.

Not only is he steamy, but he says he is going to join me for part of my cross-country trek. That's right, bitches, there's going to be sexy "bathing in the watering hole" scenes. Uh, for charity. For the children.

Suck It, Bigots, Homophobes, and Assholes (IE: John McCain)

This morning Don't Ask Don't Tell was repealed by a final vote in the Senate by a vote of 65-31.

Wow.  I don't even know how to feel about this.  I knew it would come someday... but it's different when it finally happens.

Close friend, fellow servicemember, and DADT activist Patrick English had this to say:

"It feels amazing.  Reality hasn't really sunk in yet."

No shit.

Specialist Patrick English

Patrick, like myself, has been involved in anti-DADT activism for years-- he was involved with the Call to Duty tour, where he traveled from state to state and school to school giving talks about DADT and its negative effects on our fighting force.  He was in the gallery this morning watching the vote as it occurred.  I asked him to tell me about the atmosphere amongst those watching.

"There was tension," he tells me, "but an overwhelming sense of hopefulness.  There were a lot of people who had been discharged there, and everyone was saying, 'Today is the day.'"

As soon as the vote came through, he told me, he turned to Victor Fehrenbach.  Fehrenbach is a USAF pilot who was waiting to be discharged involuntarily for being gay.  "He had tears in his eyes."

Fehrenbach gets to keep his job.

Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach

What a historic day.

Michael Bedwell, who was on the fence when I got arrested at the White House, has been fighting against Don't Ask Don't Tell for decades and was a close friend of Leonard Matlovich, the first servicemember to ever come out as gay.  Matlovich has since passed away, but Michael continued his work in advocacy.  I asked him his reaction.

Tech Sgt. Leonard Matlovich

"Very mixed feelings. First because there's still going to be a fight to get them to actual end it within a reasonable amount of time, and second because Leonard and SO many others aren't alive to see us even at the threshold."

I'm sure Leonard sees it,  Michael.

Good job, everyone.

The Top Ten Quotes of 2010

Fred Shapiro, Yale librarian, compiled this year's top quotes.  I then fucked it up by making a raccoon and a long-distance phone plan salesman recite them for you.  Enjoy.

Ian Awesome's Archnemesis is Totes a Ne'er-do-well!

This Douglas person is totally besmirching the Awesome name!

Neither a captain, NOR awesome.  Discuss.

A fellow adventurer and associate from high school has a harrowing tale to tell from 2001!

"Well, it had to be after spring 2000, cause that's when we moved to this house. I'd say roughly 2001.
The paper boy, whose name is (removed), was always always late and/or noisy, and at my house we need our newspaper by 6 a.m. sharp and we wake up if you and your crappy-ass friends are drunk while you deliver it.

So, every day that the paper was late, my parents would call and complain, and the problems didn't end.
They got to the point where they would just write down the time it came and only call once a week to file 7 complaints at once.

The only time the paper was on time was when he was still drunk Saturday morning and would deliver it at four a.m.

So he got tired of being complained at and he TP'ed our rhodie bush, but a few days earlier 'Doug' told me it was going to happen."

She suspects that this Doug, who was friends with the hoodlum delivery person, was directly involved in this ghastly crime.  Ugh!  Don't even talk to this person!  He is a criminal mastermind and should be avoided!

Friday, December 17, 2010

WTF is Going on in Mexico???

Clearly these people have gone crizazy!

 Don't ask me, I'm Cuban.

"More than 140 inmates escaped via the main entrance of a prison near the U.S. border on Friday in the biggest Mexican jailbreak since the government began its war on drugs four years ago.

Hours later, suspected hitmen blew up a car outside a police station near the business hub of Monterrey in the latest act of brinkmanship between drug gangs and officials."


"A small drone used by Mexican federal police was flying in its country's airspace before malfunctioning, forcing controllers to crash it across the Texas border in El Paso, a Mexican government official told The Associated Press.

The unmanned aircraft was on routine patrol before it crashed Tuesday night in an El Paso yard, said the Mexican government official, who spoke Friday on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly about the issue."

Ok, guys!  You need to simmer down down there.  Not only are you buying up our guns and using them to set free your felons, but you're crashing spy planes in THE WORST city in the nation!  Why the hell you spying on El Paso?  Chrissake!  Maybe we toppled the wrong government!

[msnbc-- Drone]

[msnbc-- Jailbreak


The President of Mugabe stated that he would seize the assets of foreign investors in Zimbabwe unless their home countries ceased all sanctions against his poverty-stricken nation.

This picture is very misleading.  NOBODY would extend this chump a line of credit.

"The 86-year-old former guerrilla leader said that 'the time has come for ... revenge' and suggested that Zimbabwe's Indigenization and Economic Empowerment Act -- which gives foreign companies five years to submit plans for transferring 51% of their investments to black Zimbabweans -- did not go far enough.

'We can start with that 51%. In some cases, we must read the riot act to the British and others and say them, "This is only 51% we have taken. Unless you remove sanctions, we will go 100%," if they insist the sanctions must remain,' he said."

Sooooo... he's trying to get other countries to be nicer to him by stealing their money... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  I think this will work out great for him.  This from the guy that compared himself to Hitler and was happy about it.  The same guy who is still seizing land from the white minority, who loves nepotism, and has run his economy into the ground.

Why the hell does Africa put up with this punk?


Newsflash: Fox News Unfair and Unbalanced

A study through the University of Maryland has confirmed what we all already know.  FOX NEWS VIEWERS ARE RETARDED.

Bill O'Reilly finds your "lifestyle choices" APPALLING.

"To perhaps nobody's surprise, a study released this week finds that Fox News viewers are the most misinformed of any news consumers.

The University of Maryland study, called 'Misinformation and the 2010 Election,' looked at 'variations in misinformation by exposure to news sources,' among other things, and specifically newspapers and news magazines (in print and online), network TV news broadcasts, NPR and PBS, Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN."

The report goes on to state that these morons routinely believe Fox News BS like:

Their income taxes have gone up!

All scientists agree that climate change is fake!

The stimulus caused job losses!

And other malarkey.  But really.  Who is surprised?


This One Likes Me, I Can Tell

This smooth operator, Renato Ferreira, lives in Rio and CLEARLY wants to make a baby with me.  Hmmm, I have a friend I can visit down in Brazil... 

Via Made In Brazil:

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Possibly the Dumbest Thing You Will Ever See in Your Life

Watch it anyway.

If You See This Guy in Person, Give Him My E-mail. I Have Some Choice Words for Him.

Take a look at this guy.  Memorize his face.  He is the enemy.

His signature is stupid too..

This guy, formerly known as Douglas, changed his name the other day to "Captain Awesome."  He lives in Eugene (my hometown).  He went to my high school.  And he's ruining my rep.

I've been referred to as Ian Awesome for about three years now.  I decided I was becoming more awesome and more superhero-like every day!  Therefore, I needed to have a new name-- the one that I write under now.  Never fear!  Ian Awesome is on the case.

At one point, I seriously considered changing my legal name to Ian Awesome.  It's not something I've ruled out.  Can't do that now!

"But he officially became Captain Awesome only last month, when a Lane County Circuit Court judge approved his name change petition.  And his new first name is no title, he made clear in a recent interview.

'Hi! I’m Captain,' he said, making this story even more fun to write. Journalists refer to subjects by last name only on second and subsequent references. So, that’s Awesome!

Any reader who — like Awesome — watches the television show 'Chuck' will not be surprised to know how he chose his new moniker. It was, indeed, inspired by a character on the NBC action/drama series: Dr. Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb.
'I just thought it was really funny that Devon’s father always called him Captain Awesome because "a poor nickname builds good character,"' said the local Awesome, an out-of-work cabinet installer."

HA!  Likely story.  So, dear reader, YOU decide.  Who's the poser-- MOI, or this... this... CABINET MONKEY?!

[The Register Guard]

Pope Says Some Stupid Shit. Uh, Again.

Pope Ratzboner says that Christians are the most persecuted people in the world.


Imma eatcha!  In German tho.

"'At present, Christians are the religious group which suffers most from persecution on account of its faith,' the pontiff asserted, and cited Christian communities suffering from violence and intolerance particularly in Asia, Africa, the Middle East and the Holy Land.

'This situation is intolerable, since it represents an insult to God and to human dignity' as well as 'a threat to security and peace,' Benedict wrote in one of the 17-page-long message's strongest passages.

He appealed to authorities to 'act promptly to end every injustice' against Christians."

Uh-huh. The world's largest religion, represented by one quarter to a third of THE POPULATION OF PLANET EARTH is the most persecuted. Maybe he should come to America and claim that-- while Muslims are slowly being denigrated as terrorists and the scum of the earth.

Please note:  He pleaded for an end of injustice against Christians-- NOT injustice on the basis of religion.  The Jews and Hindus?  Toss 'em in the clink!  CHRISTIANS?  Nonono, we can't bother those guys, there are just not enough of them around.  HA!

I know, Papa!  Why don't you go back to your naked acrobats and Prada slippers and stop fucking talking?  Where did they get this guy?!  Oh right!  Hitler Youth.  I forgot.


"Mesozoic. Cretaceous. Cro-Magnon Man."

I'm a big fan of all these redonkulous videos coming out where they're all terribly animated and talk in robot voices.  What fun!  I think I'll have to make one myself.

This one, found below, addresses a subject I get enraged about:  exercise cults and the schmucks who buy into them.

You will NEVER find me in a fucking gym.  EVER.  A)  I'm hot enough already.  If you doubt that, look left.  Hot.  B)  People who work out too much are zombies.  They only want to talk about working out.  They only WANT to work out.  They either hate their bodies or want to fuck themselves silly.  They're CRAZY.

Hint:  If you talk more about working out than I talk about my blog-- you have a goddamn problem.

CrossFit is an example of that!  I mean, shit, this program entailing "carrying odd objects" is in 2000 gyms worldwide and looks stupid.  STUPID.  Stupid like a seizure.  Don't be a cultist!  Go for a walk.  Go for a jog.  Don't be an asshole and work out twenty thousand times a day.  Please. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Pope Gets a Bone for Stripping Acrobats

This is the reason why the pope thinks gay hookers should be able to wear condoms.

Just look at his face at the end!  You know what he's thinking.  "Thank goodness I converted the Sistine Chapel into a BDSM dungeon!"

The House Is Smarter Than the Senate, THE END

The House of Representatives voted today to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  Yay for the House!  Hopefully the Senate will get a clue too.

 These guys promised to make out with each and every Rep.

Prez Barry released the following statement:

"I applaud the House for passing, with bipartisan support, the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Repeal Act of 2010.  Legislative repeal is supported by the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  The process contained in this legislation allows for a smooth and responsible repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in a way that maintains good order and discipline in our military ranks.   Indeed, all of the Service Chiefs have said that when this law is changed , they will implement an orderly transition effectively and efficiently.  As the comprehensive study by the Department of Defense clearly shows, we can move to a new policy in a responsible manner that ensures our military strength and our national security.   

I particularly want to thank Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, and Congressman Patrick Murphy for their leadership on this issue.  I have consistently called for the repeal of this law.  Moving forward with the repeal is not only the right thing to do, it will also give our military the clarity and certainty it deserves.  We must ensure that Americans who are willing to risk their lives for their country are treated fairly and equally by their country."

Essentially:  "Thanks for making a decision that the Commander-in-Chief didn't have the balls to make!"