Author's note: Here's part 2 of this article. Read it and enjoy the savage humor and wit! Or don't. (But you know you wanna...) Also, read part 1. And show it to your friends - shit aint gonna read itself.
It's saying a hell of a lot when the best outfit in any given set of outfits is a gold lamé bag with a wad of fabric tied across a gal's ladyparts. Yes, it's needlessly complicated but it's wearable, saleable, and looks relatively well made. The styling choices are terrible, though - how many girls do YOU know who would pair a dress that can be seen from space with a matching giant wire choker and chandelier earrings? (Note: The answer may vary depending on how close to New Jersey the reader lives.) Girl does know how to pick out her shoes…those are too fabulous for words. Flowers AND Birds?! It's a sartorial paradise!
This outfit grieves me, it really does. Viewed separately these are FANTASTIC pieces. The leather on that duffle coat looks incredibly comfortable and soft, the backpack has a "luxury leather goods" vibe without being ostentatious, and the goddess-dress has a body-friendly feel to it. The dress also has a glamor to it that refers simultaneously to Halston, Jean Harlow, and 21st century ladies like Anne Hathaway. As an outfit, it's like mixing salmon, chocolate, cheese, and balsamic vinegar...this gal is either on an expedition to open an Alaska branch of Studio 54, or is a homeless debutante. Either way it's lazy for a designer to slop together an outfit from unrelated clothes for the runway. It's as if they ran out of models to carry things. "You there! Grab that backpack! Melissa forgot to put it on her couture ski outfit!"
After all of that bitchery, it seems appropriate to write a small coda. This article is a concentrated approach to a very small segment of the Fall 2011 season. It would take months to analyze the hundreds of looks presented in collections from the last two-three weeks, and it wouldn't be particularly interesting reading. I hope you've had fun with my little rant(s), I plan on doing it relatively often. In the meantime, check out Style.com (or GQ.com for Mens shows) and make a few of your own opinions - what would fashion be without them?
Photo Credits - Elle.com/Style.com/Getty images/wireimage...all photographs are the property of their respective owners. OneAngryQueer and OneAngryClotheshorse claim no credit for the images used in these or any posts unless otherwise noted.