Monday, February 28, 2011

New Orleans Anti-Gay Pastor Is A Big 'Ol Perv

These punks just don't surprise me anymore.

Pastor Grant Storms has been an annual spectacle at the gay Southern Decadence celebration taking place in the Big Easy every year, picketing and shouting hellfire and brimstone at attendees.  Of course, like every vocal "family values" nutjob, he had a few skeletons in the closet.  Namely, he enjoys the outdoors, strolls in the park, and masturbating in front of children in said parks. 

"Storms, 53, of 2304 Green Acres Road in Metairie, was taken into custody at Lafreniere Park after two women reported seeing him masturbating in the driver's seat of his van, which was parked near the carousel and playground, a Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office report said.

"The first woman told deputies she was taking her children to the playground and parked next to the van at about noon. As she was walking around her own vehicle, she noticed the van windows were down and the occupant was 'looking at the playground area that contained children playing, with his zipper down...,' the report said. The woman noted that he was masturbating and quickly ushered her children out of her car."

While some of these "caught you!" scenarios are just plain silly-- think Larry "Wide Stance" Craig-- this is just chilling.  These figures are trusted around children.  Now, when someone proclaims "I believe in family values!" I automatically start wondering whether they are frequenting hookers, gay, frequenting gay hookers, meth users, or creepy window wankers. 

The funniest comment so far is from the article below:  "@ltdanchoi, I'd recommend picketing his anti-gay church, but he might masturbate on you and your children."


How Did I Miss This?

Did you hear this crap?

The same legislator who decided that each and every miscarriage should be investigated by the police to make sure there wasn't human involvement (does he even understand that there's a budget crisis going on?) took his crazy a step further and suggested criminal penalties unless that woman can definitely prove she didn't instigate her "prenatal murder."

And guess what those penalties could include?  That's right.  Execution.

"It's only February, but this year has been a tough one for women's health and reproductive rights. There's a new bill on the block that may have reached the apex (I hope) of woman-hating craziness. Georgia State Rep. Bobby Franklin—who last year proposed making rape and domestic violence 'victims' into 'accusers'—has introduced a 10-page bill that would criminalize miscarriages and make abortions in Georgia completely illegal. Both miscarriages and abortions would be potentially punishable by death: any 'prenatal murder' in the words of the bill, including 'human involvement' in a miscarriage, would be a felony and carry a penalty of life in prison or death. Basically, it's everything an "pro-life" activist could want aside from making all women who've had abortions wear big red 'A's on their chests."

Are you fucking kidding me?  Bobby Franklin has completely passed out of the realm of "conservative politician" and into the realm of "disgusting human being who should just live somewhere else."  First you take away a woman's ability to claim victimhood in sexual assault, then he wants to wantonly murder women-- unless they can absolutely prove they didn't coathanger their fetus. 

Yes, he is married.  I wonder what it must be like to be a woman in that marriage.  I'm waiting for the inevitable wife-beating or cheating scandal to break on this loon, there has to be one somewhere.

[Mother Jones]

Britain's First Gay Cricketer

In a direct contrast with what we seem to see in American football, British cricket fans has a new gay role-model:  Steve Davies.

Citing Welsh Rugby player Gareth Thomas as an inspiration (he came out last year) Davies stated that after coming out five years previous to his family and gaining their support, he no longer had a desire to hide who he is.

"Davies told The Sun: 'I'm comfortable with who I am and happy to say who I am in public.

"'To speak out is a massive relief for me, but if I can just help one person to deal with their sexuality then that's all I care about.'"

Plus, he's just presh.  Look at him!  I would totally let him cricket the hell outta me.

[Yahoo! News]

Wyoming Hate Legislation Dies In House

Gays in Wyoming have gotten a small reprieve today, as key legislation that would ban the recognition of same-sex unions performed in outside states failed to pass the required two-thirds majority in their House.

"The Wyoming House adjourned without taking action on a same-sex marriage bill that had already passed the state Senate. Passing the measure would have required a two-thirds vote in both houses.

"House Majority Floor Leader Rep. Tom Lubnau, R-Gillette, said he didn't want to spend hours of floor time debating a bill that didn't have the votes to pass. The Legislature is set to adjourn next week.

"Another bill was still pending that would change Wyoming law to specify that the state would only recognize marriages between one man and one woman. Disagreement remained between the House and Senate over whether the state should allow same-sex couples who entered civil unions elsewhere to have access to the state court system to resolve any issues that arise in their relationships."

Maybe Wyoming finally learned the lesson that Matthew Shepard's death failed to teach them-- discrimination just isn't good business.


USC Quarterback Is Confused About The Words "Discriminating" and "Homophobe"

I learned a new Twitterism thanks to USC Quarterback Matt Barkley!

Smh of course, meaning, "Shaking my head."

Barkley immediately came under fire from his feed's followers, prompting him to say "look bro, I'm not discriminating and I'm not a homophobe. I'm standing up for what I believe. Cool down..."

Really, Barkley?  So if you're expressing dismay at the governments refusal to oppress its citizens, that's what, if not discrimination?  Sometimes "standing up for what you believe," while admirable, is still fucking discrimination, dummy.  "Cool down?"  Really?  You're supporting making gays second-class citizens and we're supposed to just be like, "Oh, hey man, it's cool!"  

Let this be a lesson to athletes:  If you want to comment on shit that ain't your sport, at least have a brain about it.  Geez.

Yawnfest 2011: The Oscars

Jamie just wanted to host alone!  Why won't ABC let him shine?!?!?!?!

I watched the Oscars last night with my old-ass mom-- boooooooooooring!  I mean, seriously, the most exciting part of the whole show was Billy Crystal and he was only on for two minutes.  Did anyone else think that James Franco officially hated co-hosting with Anne "Stick Figure With No Soul" Hathaway?  Every time she said something he rolled his eyes at the camera.  Catty!

In the next day or two Wesley Darling (OneAngryClotheshorse) will have his breakdown and analysis of last night's couture-- btw!  Natalie Portman = BEST MATERNITY DRESS EVER!!!

Anyway, here are the winners:

Best Picture
"The King's Speech," Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin, Producers
Achievement in directing
"The King's Speech," Tom Hooper
Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth in "The King's Speech"
Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale in "The Fighter"
Actress in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman in "Black Swan"
Actress in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo in "The Fighter"
Animated Feature Film
"How to Train Your Dragon" Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois
"The Illusionist" Sylvain Chomet
"Toy Story 3" Lee Unkrich
Achievement in Art Direction
"Alice in Wonderland"
Achievement in Cinematography
"Inception," Wally Pfister
Costume Design
"Alice in Wonderland," Colleen Atwood
Documentary (Feature)
"Inside Job," Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
Documentary (Short Subject)
"Strangers No More"
Film Editing
"The Social Network"
Foreign Language Film
"In a Better World," Denmark
"The Wolfman," Rick Baker and Dave Elsey
Music (Original Score)
"The Social Network," Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Music (Original Song)
"We Belong Together" from "Toy Story 3," Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
Short Film (Animated)
"The Lost Thing," Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann
Short Film (Live Action)
"God of Love," Luke Matheny
Sound Editing
"Inception," Richard King
Sound Mixing
"Inception," Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick
Visual Effects
"Inception," Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb
Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
"The Social Network," Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin
Writing (Original Screenplay)
"The King's Speech," Screenplay by David Seidler

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Selling Out Doesn't Pay Off

One of the big challenges in running a newsblog is income.  To be frank, if I don't figure out a way to eat while doing what I love, I will have to get a real life job and devote less time to informing you schmucks about what's going on in the world today. 

A couple months back I made the misstep of attempting to make money by using Infolinks as revenue-generating ads.  I've made only $1.50 from it and gotten a bunch of grief from readers for them.

FINE!  They go!  I hate them anyway, they make my classy news source look like a tawdry gossip rag (which it basically is, I'll admit).  I'm keeping the Amazon Associate ads, which I insert by choice whenever I feel that they are appropriate to the article I post.  If you ever think you like the product I showcase, (for instance, see left) then please feel free to purchase it through my blog.  I get a cut and hopefully get to eat.  This way, we get to avoid me prostituting myself by putting a "donate here!!!!" PayPal link. 

Friday, February 25, 2011

German Lawyers Charge Pope With Crimes Against Humanity

The Irish Times report that two German lawyers are takin' their A-game to the leader of the largest religion in the world in the International Criminal Court.

"They claim the Pope 'is responsible for the preservation and leadership of a worldwide totalitarian regime of coercion which subjugates its members with terrifying and health-endangering threats'.

"They allege he is also responsible for 'the adherence to a fatal forbiddance of the use of condoms, even when the danger of HIV-Aids infection exists' and for 'the establishment and maintenance of a worldwide system of cover-up of the sexual crimes committed by Catholic priests and their preferential treatment, which aids and abets ever new crimes'.

"They claim the Catholic Church 'acquires its members through a compulsory act, namely, through the baptism of infants that do not yet have a will of their own'. This act was 'irrevocable' and is buttressed by threats of excommunication and the fires of hell."

Cute.  I doubt it'll go anywhere-- since if the Pope is held accountable for dogmatic rulings then any religious leader in the world would be equally culpable.  I mean, what popular organized religion ISN'T guilty of similar (if not exactly the same) crimes?

Personally, I would prefer the Pope be taken to task for covering up child abuse, but hey, that'll never happen. 


WTF Moment Brought To You By Alan Keyes

Conservative activist/writer Alan Keyes thinks that giving gays the right to marry is the same as giving plantation owners the right to own slaves.  Yeeeeeeeeeah.

"Government doesn't endow people with the ability to procreate the species. The Creator takes care of that. Like all unalienable rights, those associated with the natural family exist in consequence of this endowment. A couple that cannot, by nature, procreate has no claim to those rights. Nor can government grant them a semblance of it without impairing the claims of one or both of the parents biologically implicated in the physical conception of the child. The DOMA simply makes more explicit the government's obligation to secure the Creator-endowed unalienable rights of the natural family. This obligation precludes government from fabricating other rights that impair them. In this respect, granting homosexuals the right to marry is like granting plantation owners the right to own slaves."

You're so silly Alan!  The difference is this:  One has no impact on anyone outside of that union whatsoever, and the other one is holding human lives as chattel.  I know, easy to confuse the two!

I feel bad for this guy's daughter-- who is an out and proud lesbian.  What a dirtbag this b-hole is.


UK Ice Cream Shop Serves Up Breast Milk

Using donated breast milk and costing about $23 a serving, the new buzz in London is all about ice cream that came from real lady boobies.

That's where it comes from.  Ohhhhh yeeeeeah.

"Victoria Hiley, 35, from London was one of 15 women who donated milk to the restaurant after seeing the advert.

"Hiley works with women who have problems breast-feeding their babies. She said she believes that if adults realized how tasty breast milk actually is, then new mothers would be more willing to breast-feed their own newborns.

"'What could be more natural than fresh, free-range mother's milk in an ice cream? And for me it's a recession beater too -- what's the harm in using my assets for a bit of extra cash,' Hiley said in a statement.

"'I tried the product for the first time today -- it's very nice, it really melts in the mouth.'"

They are marketing the vanilla flavored "Baby Gaga" as "free range and organic."  Once you get over the yuk factor, the idea is pretty awesome.  I would totally chow down on this stuff.  Though, can I get it in cookie dough flavor?  That's my fave.

[Yahoo! News]

The Kids Are NOT Alright

A Wichita, Kansas school newspaper has people questioning the extent of free speech this week, as an opinion piece written by a student appears to have advocated the death penalty for gays (as, of course, mandated by the Bible). 

"Some teens see it as abnormal, as well as the intimacy that comes with it. Some people believe that since the Bible verse Leviticus 18:22 said 'You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination,' they do not think it is proper for same sex relations.

"Also, less commonly cited, is the death penalty called for in another Bible verse, Leviticus 20:13, 'If a man also lie with man, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.' These are the most common arguments against homosexual marriage and/or dating."

Thus far, the Wichita school district has refused to pull the article or publish a retraction, sparking a debate about free speech-- should they control what a student says in an opinion piece?

Fuck yeah, they should!  While normally I would totally back up a student's right to say whatever the fuck they want about homos, this goes beyond freedom of speech and breaks into the realm of a little thing I like to call "incitement to violence."

For instance, what if he had instead advocated the death of Christians?  Or black people?  Or basically anyone else except for gays and/or Muslims?  That article would be pulled, this punk would be suspended, and the police might possibly get involved.  People write shit like this and I feel threatened, and there is no rationale that can convince me that this kind of crap is okay, Bible verse or not. 

What happens when yet another gay kid is beat up after school, or heaven forbid, shot like poor Lawrence King?  Can we truly view this stuff as isolated incidents in light of language like this? 


Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Chosen People

I love gingers beyond reason, so this tickled me pink.


If You Don't Eat Pork, You Will Go To Jail In Tennessee

In a move measured 8.9 on the Stupid Scale, Tennessee legislators introduced a law mandating jail time for someone found guilty of following Shariah Law. 

"It exempts peaceful practice of Islam but labels any adherence to Shariah law — which includes religious practices such as feet washing and prayers — as treasonous. It claims Shariah adherents want to replace the Constitution with their religious law.

"A dozen other states are considering anti-Shariah bills, and there's a federal lawsuit in Oklahoma over one.
Imam Mohamed Ahmed of the Islamic Center of Nashville on 12th Avenue South said Islam teaches its followers to obey the law of the land. Shariah law, he said, teaches moral values.

"'What do you mean, really, by saying I can't abide by Shariah law?' he said. 'Shariah law is telling me don't steal. Do you want me to steal and rob a bank?'"

Seriously?  Do these jacknuts not get that America was founded on the principles of religious freedom?  These people are not just playing on the fears of the ignorant, they are violating the ideals to which they so patriotically claim to cleave. 

They are total b-holes.


Attack Of The SuperMeme

You may have figured out by now that I am a huge fan of that magical unicorn creature known as Antoine Dodson.  Rather, if you've ever hung out with me in person, it's almost assured that I've made you watch his classy musical stylings on my phone.

Well, Dame Dodson appears to have teamed up with the most famous YouTube memes there are, to include Numa Numa Boy and Freakout Boy, to make a cinematic masterpiece:

The Chronicles of Rick Roll.

*screams and pees*


Anonymous Loses Patience, Defaces WBC Website

The troublemakers over at Anonymous have had enough of the Phelps clan and their sassing of the clandestine organization and have defaced Westboro Baptist Church's website with a message of their own, as evidenced by this screenshot captured by Dangerous Minds:

The text is kinda hard to make out, but the final line is priceless:

"God hates fags: assumption.  Anonymous hates leeches: fact."

In other news, the weather in the Pacific Northwest has finally delivered on the promised snow, as evidenced by this picture taken in the street outside my current HQ.  The flakes are so big it literally looks like someone is covering the Willamette Valley in goosedown.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Maggie Gallagher Thinks Obama Is Confused About The Difference Between Being Black And Being Gay

 Maggie's next revelation:  Obama actually using voodoo to turn everyone gay.  Trust her on this one.

Predictably, National Organization for Marriage's prime talking head had some nearly incomprehensible bullshit to say about today's DOJ announcement.  Evidently, the Administrations refusal to defend DOMA is evidence that Obama is turning "gay" into the new black.  Uh-huh.


Geek Shit Wednesday Vol. III

That's right kids, it's... Geek Shit Wednesday!

Cell Phones Increase Brain Metabolism

It's long been a fear since mobile technology has taken off that the radiation from the devices would somehow cause brain cancer.  While a definitive link has yet to be made, new information indicates that the radiation DOES have an effect-- the antennas can change how your brain metabolizes glucose.

"The new study attempts to show there's more going on than simply heating by tying cell phone use to changes in the brain's metabolism. Even here, however, past experiments have caused a bit of confusion. Studies based on tracking blood flow or metabolic activity in the brain have found just about any result imaginable, from increases near the site of the cell phone to decreases there and increases elsewhere in the brain. It's difficult to make any sense of them at all.

"To get around some of these problems, the authors simply recruited nearly 50 participants; previous studies they cite typically involved 20 people or less. For measuring metabolic activity, they went with the PET scan. PET involves giving the subject a form of the sugar glucose, in which one of the atoms is radioactive. Its decay emits a small bit of antimatter—a positron—that in turn emits a gamma ray when it collides with a regular electron. By figuring out where the gamma rays are coming from, we can tell where the glucose is going, and thus which cells are most active. PET provides a picture of metabolic activity that covers a longer time period than the transient responses seen with blood flow imaging."

Do these changes affect brain function?  It's unclear.  Since cell phones are relatively new, we won't know much until we have data on multi-decade use.  It's fascinating nonetheless.

[Ars Technica]

Retailers Want Your Old Phone

The mobile devices market seems to grow in leaps and bounds, technologically speaking, rendering last year's hot item dated and passe.  Does that make your old phone useless?  No!

Instead, the rapid advancement of cell phone technologies has opened up a whole new market-- mobile resale. 

"Retailers have a word for this cultural trend toward perpetual buying of newer consumer technology: upgrades. And as these consumers look to upgrade their hardware every year or two -- even if their current handset works fine -- they tend to build up a trove of slightly outdated gadgets.

"Retailers are offering incentives to reclaim these past-their-prime phones that can be refurbished and resold, or passed off to overseas merchants.

"These buy-back retail services usually offer traders only store credit, rather than cash. Also, all of these companies will recycle a gadget that's too old to warrant payment."

I know when I get my next phone (keep praying for that EVO Shift, Ian!) I'm definitely gonna get some money outta my Pixi.  It cuts down on waste AND you can get some cash.  What's not to love?


World's Smallest Computer Unveiled

Signaling a huge step for microtechnology, a new computer used for glaucoma patients has been unveiled-- with a processor, battery, solar cell, radio, and memory, it all fits on the "N" on the back of a penny.

"This tiniest computer to date is a prototype of an implantable eye pressure monitor for glaucoma patients. Key to this unit linking up with other computers to form wireless sensor networks is a compact radio that needs no tuning to find the right frequency.

"One day, these Lilliputian computers could track pollution, monitor structural integrity, perform surveillance, or make virtually any object smart and traceable."

This is totally the next step to Borg nanoprobes.  Resistance is futile!


Planned Parenthood: Genocidal Plot To Eradicate Black People. WHA???

In perhaps the most blatant attack on decency and rationality I've seen in a long time, this billboard appeared in NYC attacking a woman's right to choose:

Planned Parenthood wants to kill this little girl and eat her!

 "Public Advocate Bill De Blasio demanded the billboard be taken down.

"'This billboard simply doesn’t belong in our city. The ad violates the values of New Yorkers and is grossly offensive to women and communities of color,' said De Blasio.

"The anti-abortion nonprofit organization behind the billboard said its goal is to shock people and spark discussion. The spokesperson for Life Always, Marissa Gabrysch, said the group is trying to highlight its belief that Planned Parenthood targets minority neighborhoods with the 300,000 abortions it performs each year.

"'There’s a grave disparity and just a huge disproportion that African-Americans represent 13 percent of the U.S. population yet represent 36 percent of abortions in the United States,' said Gabrysch."

Hmmm.  Ms. Gabrysch, let's think about this.  Planned Parenthood is targeting black communities... why?  So that they can wipe them out?
How 'bout this instead:  black communities are unfortunately poorer on average, and the only methods of contraception that your soft-science advocates are making affordable to them is abstinence (pipe dream much?).  So they get pregnant.  Then they get abortions.

One would think that if one was a rational conservative, pro-life would mean pro-condoms.  Funny how it doesn't work out that way. 


In a surprise move that kinda caught ME with my pants down, the Department of Justice today released a statement that's got the liberal/gay blogosphere jizzing all over itself (wow, what's on MY mind today...),

"After careful consideration, including a review of my recommendation, the President has concluded that given a number of factors, including a documented history of discrimination, classifications based on sexual orientation should be subject to a more heightened standard of scrutiny.   The President has also concluded that Section 3 of DOMA, as applied to legally married same-sex couples, fails to meet that standard and is therefore unconstitutional.   Given that conclusion, the President has instructed the Department not to defend the statute in such cases.   I fully concur with the President’s determination."

Barry O finally got some balls, it appears-- he just up and decided he's the mothafuckin' president and he doesn't HAVE to discriminate if he doesn't want to, thank you very much.  Sweet.

I didn't really understand all the legalese, so if any of you lawyerly types can give me a more in depth analysis, feel free to drop me a line and let me know.  Regardless, the Department's refusal to defend the constitutionality of Section 3 (defining marriage as opposite sex only) is HUGE and is another nail in bigotry's coffin.  Full text if you click on the link. 

[Statement of the Attorney General]

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

SPU And The GSA: Ian Awesome Translates Seattlese

So here's the story:  In Seattle, there's this private christian college called Seattle Pacific University.  A fine school in many ways, my ex-boyfriend and newest contributor Wesley Darling (OneAngryClotheshorse) attended here.  An active rascal, he helped found Haven, a Gay-Straight Alliance on campus.

 "Blah blah blah, we hate the gays, let's play golf."

The school has recently come under fire as they have ceased giving the GSA space to hold meetings, a move clearly made in order to convey the University's disapproval of GAY BUTT SECKS!!!!1!!!

The good folks over at the Stranger reported on it, and then encouraged everyone to write into these jabronis and let them know what's up-- essentially, that they were big spacky b-holes for being unkind to the gays.

They were hoping for a strong response from the President, Phil Eaton.  Instead, they got a mystifying, meandering letter which, instead of saying anything of substance, could instead be entered in the Seattle Passive Aggression Hall of Fame.  Below I include his response, however, I know none of my readers are douchebags so it might be hard for you to understand exactly what he is saying.  Luckily, I'm fluent in douchebag and have put a translation after his blathering ends-- Mr. Darling asked me to simplify and elucidate on Dr. Phil's point of view and I was only too happy to oblige.

Eaton's response:

Dear SPU colleagues and friends,

It is Saturday morning early as I begin this note (I’m actually in the Bay Area as I finish), my time for reflection and regrouping. I am sorry this is the first moment in a very busy week I’ve had time to collect myself on the current issues around club status and human sexuality and care for our students.

But let me offer here some suggestions and principles that might guide us as we move forward.

1. I assure you I have been reading and listening and reflecting on all of this. I have been talking and listening to faculty and Vice Presidents and trustees. I received some thoughtful and articulate letters from a number of recent alums, to which I am responding. I look forward to the chance to talk further with our students at the appropriate time, as I have done in the past.

My question always comes around to this: How can we model, in all we do, genuine Christian community? Here’s the other question we must ask: How we can help guide our students toward a life that is full and healthy and meaningful, help them discover what is right and good, help them affirm the ancient Christian teaching on all matters of life? 

And so I share what follows in the spirit of these aspirations.

2. We need at this moment to address very clearly and openly the issue of club status. I have asked Vice President Les Steele and Associate Vice President Jeff Jordan to communicate directly the reasons for their decisions. There is a lot of misinformation floating around, and we need to clear things up about what happened and why.

I have also asked them to outline and communicate specific next steps as they work closely with the students and others to get clarity about where we go from here. I will be involved in that discussion.
Let me also commend Les and Jeff for endless hours of work with our students over years on this matter. Their hearts and minds and efforts are absolutely in the right place. We owe them our thanks.

3. We have some differences on these issues, not only on our campus, but surely within our messy and often divided society. Strong communities are always open to differences and are willing to engage those differences meaningfully and together. We should guard against closed or clogged channels. We should seek to respect each other. We should always seek to focus our attention on our students with love and genuine concern for their well being. We should always be willing to tackle the important, even contested issues of our day. That’s what engaging the culture is all about, and we go about that work without fear or hesitation.

4. Let us think hard in this moment about the Christian view of human flourishing that animates the center of our lives and our university. We want the best for our students. Let us love our students even as we affirm our deepest convictions.

We find ourselves these days always asking this question: Where do we turn for guidance about human flourishing when all stories of what is true and good and beautiful are called into question by our postmodern, post-Christian culture? How do we embrace the Christian story when the truth and goodness of our story is decidedly contested by our culture?

Here is my deepest conviction on these questions: We turn to the Christian Scriptures and to the teaching of the Christian church throughout the centuries. As a Christian university, and as Christian individuals, this is our foundation, our deepest and profound resource, our guide. We focus intensely on our holy text. This is the authoritative source that must guide us as we move forward.

As we turn to these teachings, we begin at the beginning: Everyone is created in the image of God. Everyone is formed with human dignity. God loves all of his children.

And then we say, in our brokenness, we lean on the grace of God’s transforming power through Jesus Christ. We become new creatures, even so in transformation, but all of us still on our way.

But then, what happens “after we believe,” as N. T. Wright phrases it? Well, we begin the hard work of “putting on,” in Paul’s familiar words, the “garments that suit God’s chosen and beloved people: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience,” tolerance and forgiveness, and of course “to bind everything and complete the whole, there must be love.” All of this is part of the discipline of our lives as Christians, the discipline that contributes to the formation of communities of grace and love.

But then Paul ventures into what is sometimes the tough part: He tells us we must “put off” some things that are harmful for us, destructive to our communities of faith, hurtful to our world. We don’t like boundaries to our freedom, especially in our time, but our faith tradition calls on us to consider the need for certain boundaries, not just in the area of our sexuality, but in all sorts of areas of human experience.

In the end God wants for all of his children lives that are flourishing, and it is our task, “after we believe,” to seek and model and teach our way toward human flourishing. What the disciples discovered in Jesus, says Wright, was “a way of being human which nobody had ever imagined before. This was a way of generosity and forgiveness, a way of self-emptying and a determination to put everyone else’s needs first. . . .” It was the way of “humility, charity, patience, and chastity,” something unthinkable as virtues to the ancient Greeks.

We seek this remarkable “way of being human, ” the one we discover in Jesus, the one communicated to us through holy Scriptures, the one we grapple with in the teachings of the Christian church throughout the centuries.

We want this new way for our students and for each of our lives and for our community at SPU.

5. Finally, I don’t want to be vague on the whole topic of human sexuality. We’ve got to continue to sort things out. We don’t want to dodge the specifics in some fog of abstraction. We have a statement on human sexuality we have worked on over many years, seeking to be clear, seeking to be nuanced. We lift up that statement, not as holy text, but as something that can encourage our wrestling with these issues.

This is a time when our culture has made some decisive moves on these things, shifting quite dramatically even over the last five years, and we ask now, as a Christian community, how we might affirm where we stand as Christians as we engage that culture, how we might lovingly communicate the ancient tradition we represent?

My great hope is that we can do all of this with humility and in the spirit of grace and love to which we are called. No one has a corner on compassion and righteousness. We are all in this together. My hope is that we can learn better all the time how to treat our students lovingly even as we affirm some things we believe to be true and good and beautiful.

God bless each one of you. May God bless our students. May God bless our community as we seek to be faithful and obedient to God’s call on this place, for this time, even on these very issues.

Gee.  Thanks, Phil.  Here's how the rest of us would communicate what he has to say:

"We want everyone to think we are dignified and respectful, so we're not going to call these guys fags or anything, but the Bible says they suck, so we're going to continue to discriminate against the students and aren't really going to change the status quo.

"Also, here's a homily about self sacrifice and the greater good so you can a) feel bad about being so selfish if you're a member of a GSA that you're going to waste our time with this crap and b) realize that we're really being very generous by offering you forgiveness.

"In conclusion, I'm really not going to say anything about this because I don't want to get pigeonholed into actually progressing on this problem, however, I would like everyone to remember that we are a Christian school and Christians get to hate on homos cuz the Bible told us to. So fuck off.

"PS: Stop bothering me on a Saturday."

Isn't higher education great?

New Web Clock Displays Time As A Color

This is neat.

This web clock tells the time like any other web clock, but the color of the clock gradually changes to correspond with the hexidecimal color value it represents on the visible spectrum-- like thus:

So color value #110927 is evidently purple.  Or something.  I think.  Regardless, click on it, it's kinda neat.


US Supreme Court Shields Big Pharm Overlords From Pesky Lawsuits

In yet another example of the US Government pandering to big pharmaceuticals and their billions, the SCOTUS ruled today that a couple cannot sue Wyeth for possibly harming their daughter by producing an unsafe vaccine.

I wish I got to work in a big fancy building by merely rubberstamping approval on anything corporate America tells me to do.  Oh, wait, I'm not a worthless douchebag, I forgot.

"By a 6-2 vote, the US high court, in an opinion by written Justice Antonin Scalia, rejected the family's argument that they should allowed to sue drug maker Wyeth for not making a safer vaccine.

"The case concerned Hannah Bruesewitz, who as a six-month-old infant received a series of injections to protect her against diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis, the illness also known as whooping cough.

"The family, from the northeastern state of Pennsylvania, found that after the third injection, the cognitive development of their now-teenaged daughter slowed dramatically and she developed seizures and other health problems that continue to this day."

So how is it that the Supreme Court can now determine the innocence of a company without demanding scientific evidence supporting that supposition?  This is what's wrong with health care in America-- an industry that SHOULD be grounded in compassion, science, and a drive to defend the common good is instead hijacked by piratical pharmaceutical companies that care about one thing:  Profits.

It's disgusting that this kind of crap can slide in our country.


Marriage Equality Bill Introduced In The Maryland Senate

The following video was taken in the MD Senate today.  It is the historic reading of a marriage equality bill that most likely will pass in the following week, with a slight majority publicly supporting the legislation.  As a former Maryland voter myself, I am very excited to hear that my friends in Baltimore are finally going to be considered real Americans with the same rights as everyone else.

Go Bawlmer!

BREAKING NEWS!!!1!!111!! Top Ten Richest Members Of Congress Favor The Rich! *facepalm*

Check this out:  Via JoeMyGod, these are the top ten richest members of Congress.  Half of them are Democrats, to include openly gay Jared Polis-- and ALL of them voted to extend the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy.  Gasp!


Happy Birthday, Dan Choi

All of us at OAQ would like to extend our heartfelt thanks, admiration, and well-wishes to one of my personal heroes, Dan Choi.  Today he turns the big 3-0, and while this means he is officially an old-ass man, I still think he's one of the hottest gaysians out there. 

Happy Birthday, Dan.  :)

Amputees Are Hot. Who Knew?

Evidently Thierry Mugler (say that three times fast) from A*Men Fragrance.

I don't know if this stinkum smells good- but their Paralympic World Champion sprinter sure LOOKS good.  Look at him!  I would totes polish up those prosthetics for him.  Maybe paint them a nice color.  I think he's THAT hot.


Monday, February 21, 2011

OneAngryClotheshorse Rips Style.Com a new one Pt. 2

Author's note: Here's part 2 of this article. Read it and enjoy the savage humor and wit! Or don't. (But you know you wanna...) Also, read part 1. And show it to your friends - shit aint gonna read itself.

It's hardly news that in the world of 'high fashion,' breasts seem to be out of style. I encourage the reader to look for themselves at any runway show or ad campaign and count how many mammaries they see larger than an 'b' cup. Designers seem disinterested in the way most women are shaped, preferring to dress adolescent stick figures. It's easier to cut fabric across a flat surface. What intrigues me about this look is the breasts in this photo aren't particularly hidden (that is one hell of a low neckline) but the lace arounds it has the effect of fencing them in. Berardi has taken this girl's wild boobies and domesticated them, putting them in a gilded velvet cage to be peered at by society.

Danielle Scutt

It's saying a hell of a lot when the best outfit in any given set of outfits is a gold lamé bag with a wad of fabric tied across a gal's ladyparts. Yes, it's needlessly complicated but it's wearable, saleable, and looks relatively well made. The styling choices are terrible, though - how many girls do YOU know who would pair a dress that can be seen from space with a matching giant wire choker and chandelier earrings? (Note: The answer may vary depending on how close to New Jersey the reader lives.) Girl does know how to pick out her shoes…those are too fabulous for words. Flowers AND Birds?! It's a sartorial paradise!


This outfit grieves me, it really does. Viewed separately these are FANTASTIC pieces. The leather on that duffle coat looks incredibly comfortable and soft, the backpack has a "luxury leather goods" vibe without being ostentatious, and the goddess-dress has a body-friendly feel to it. The dress also has a glamor to it that refers simultaneously to Halston, Jean Harlow, and 21st century ladies like Anne Hathaway. As an outfit, it's like mixing salmon, chocolate, cheese, and balsamic vinegar...this gal is either on an expedition to open an Alaska branch of Studio 54, or is a homeless debutante. Either way it's lazy for a designer to slop together an outfit from unrelated clothes for the runway. It's as if they ran out of models to carry things. "You there! Grab that backpack! Melissa forgot to put it on her couture ski outfit!"

After all of that bitchery, it seems appropriate to write a small coda. This article is a concentrated approach to a very small segment of the Fall 2011 season. It would take months to analyze the hundreds of looks presented in collections from the last two-three weeks, and it wouldn't be particularly interesting reading. I hope you've had fun with my little rant(s), I plan on doing it relatively often. In the meantime, check out (or for Mens shows) and make a few of your own opinions - what would fashion be without them?


-Wesley Darling

Photo Credits - images/wireimage...all photographs are the property of their respective owners. OneAngryQueer and OneAngryClotheshorse claim no credit for the images used in these or any posts unless otherwise noted.

Anonymous Is Super Duper

In these modern times, it's rare that we get to see the kind of swashbuckling and derring-do accomplished by the corsairs and pirates of the high seas back in the hazy days of antiquity (I'm pretty sure my old-ass mom was alive then, tho).

Thankfully, we have the hacker group Anonymous.

Anonymous has claimed credit for several online attacks targeting Visa, Mastercard, Hosni Mubarak, and the Church of Scientology.  Far from being a group hoping to steal identities and amass money made through ill-gotten means, they choose their targets in order to stand for social justice and to punish people they feel are infringing on the rights of others.

A sort of online Robin Hood, if you will.

Well, the world anticipated an exciting move from Anonymous, as a few days ago a statement appeared in the Interwebs from people claiming to be the hacker group, threatening the Westboro Baptist Church, whose exploits I'll not list here-- let's just say that they're a bunch of hateful bigots who make money by antagonizing soldiers, gays, their families... essentially, everyone hates these guys, and I normally refuse to write about them.

An excerpt from the statement:

"ANONYMOUS cannot abide this behavior any longer. The time for us to be idle spectators in your inhumane treatment of fellow Man has reached its apex, and we shall now be moved to action. Thus, we give you a warning: Cease & desist your protest campaign in the year 2011, return to your homes in Kansas, & close your public Web sites. 

"Should you ignore this warning, you will meet with the vicious retaliatory arm of ANONYMOUS: We will target your public Websites, and the propaganda & detestable doctrine that you promote will be eradicated; the damage incurred will be irreversible, and neither your institution nor your congregation will ever be able to fully recover. It is in your best interest to comply now, while the option to do so is still being offered, because we will not relent until you cease the conduction & promotion of all your bigoted operations & doctrines."

Of course, being the classy guys they are, WBC responded with their typical hatred and Biblebabble:

Imagine everyone's amusement, then, when Anonymous clearly stated that they did not have any intention before to target WBC, but they may get around to them, when they have the time.  Ha!

I would like to state that OAQ in no way endorses nor supports cyberterrorism.  This made me chuckle, tho, at the end of their response:

"(Note: This letter was written by more than 20 Anons, at the same time, and none of them were inbred
family members. Unlike that other, shitty 'Press Release'."

NOM Donors Can't Hide Their Bigotry, Court Rules

National Organization for Marriage, a right wing hate group notorious for spreading lies and for the gross vitriol of their talking heads Maggie Gallagher and Brian Brown, got served a giant can of whoopass as reported by the Kennebec Journal today.  Back in 2009, NOM spearheaded a campaign in Maine repealing the law allowing gay Mainers to marry-- and won.  It was a crushing defeat for the gay rights movement in the area, but it spawned a much more intricate and damning legal battle. 

You see, in Maine, if your organization donates more than $5000 to a political cause, they have to register with the government and release the names of all their donors of $100 and up, allowing for a high level of transparency.  After all, if your rights are being taken away, don't you want to know by whom?

Well, for the past two years, NOM has refused to release this information-- in blatant violation of the law-- and sued the state government, saying that if these names were released, "radical homosexual militants" would attack and harm said donors.


Well, the great state of Maine decided that these punks can't hide who wants to shove their bigoted points of view on their minority-- and told them to comply with the law.

The donors could simply hide behind Maggie's chins.  Just sayin'.

"U.S. District Court Judge D. Brock Hornby rejected arguments made by the National Organization for Marriage, which contributed about $1.9 million to a Maine group that helped repeal Maine's law allowing same-sex marriage in 2009, that the reporting law was vague and overly broad.

"'I conclude finally that this Maine law is constitutional,' Hornby wrote in his 22-page decision handed down late Friday."

Ha!  In this day and age, when the SCOTUS hands down decisions allowing corporate entities to help decide who gets elected to office, campaign transparency is uber important.  Congrats on getting something right.  No word yet as to whether or not NOM will appeal, but be ready for some class-A whining. 

[Kennebec Journal]

New guest author OneAngryClotheshorse: AKA My VERY gay ex-boyfriend Pt. 1

My latest guest author is none other than my VERY gay ex-boyfriend, Wesley Darling (click the link if you dare...he hasn't posted since 2009 and it's SUPER gay). He's going to rant about clothing for me - because if there's one thing a socially-responsible, politic, intelligent mind wants to start an open dialog about, it's fashion.
Hello gentle readers! (I twirl, a swath of glitter and rainbows dancing merrily behind me) 'Tis I, your beloved Wesley Darling - Ian's VERY gay ex-boyfriend - here to lend my unswervingly stylish eye to the magical adventure that are the FW 2011 RTW shows!
The author in repose. Painting by Liz Keblish
Ok. Are we done? Good, because that shit makes me nauseous. I'm Ian Awesome's VERY gay ex-boyfriend. The name is VERY amusing to me. What metric is Ian judging me by? There's always SOMEONE gayer out there. I also find it hilarious Ian's asked me to write about fashion for his blog- in the past he's stated my wardrobe is "relentlessly dour" and that "I dress like an old person who's stopped caring about themselves." I'll let the reader draw their own conclusions about my taste in clothes, but I hope the article is at least chuckle-worthy.

Since Ian didn't give me very specific criteria, ("Write about fashion - it'll increase readership!") I chose to mercilessly skewer's "Look Of The Day" from the FW 2011 RTW shows. (Note: This was written yesterday - 2/20/11, today's "looks" will be different - WD) It seemed like a good way to encapsulate the weird spectacle that is Fashion Week, get sassy, and not yammer on too long...this will need to be published in two parts as it is. I hope you readers are happy, and if you're not, throw things at Ian until he gives me better guidelines.
Apparently, judging from the 5 "looks of the day" has prepared for us today, metallics are back in for FW 2011. This is old news as metallics have been in for the last 5 years or so (off and on), and designers are trotting them out again because they sell well. In this "look" (remember, I'm writing about the "look of the day" not the individual item) Saunders is featuring giant paillettes (sequins), which look like quarters or worse, fish scales...the scales in question belonging to a tuna with a serious smack problem. What is especially disturbing about this look is that it's ostensibly a dress, but looks more like the designer stapled the top to a matching skirt. The thicker black line through the middle is ugly and purposeless. The shoes would be cute, except for the blowholes on the front - perhaps to house tiny glitter cannons?
Here are two trends which don't belong together: the "boyfriend shirt," and super-flowy chiffon nude pants. The Swedish brand Acne is really good at simultaneously hiding the 'ol sinful body and using yards and yards of fabric, perhaps in an effort to stimulate the textile industry. Taken as separates, I have few issues...the pants could be really lovely with a white or cream fitted blouse. The top isn't to my taste - my God, it's like a tinfoil hat for her least aliens won't be able to penetrate with their boob rays - but with a pair of very slim pants or leggings it would at least have a pleasing silhouette. The combination of the two in the same 'look' is bizarre and shapeless.

Edit- This piece has been halved. *GASP!* Don't worry. You'll get the other half today. It's the only way I could make such a long piece bearable.

Photo Credits - images/wireimage...all photographs are the property of their respective owners. OneAngryQueer and OneAngryClotheshorse claim no credit for the images used in these or any posts unless otherwise noted.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Georgian Legislator Thinks The Police Should Care About Your Uterus

Whackadoodle House Republican Bobby Franklin (who wants to change the word "victim" to "accuser" in reference to rape) now advocates that GA state police should investigate each and every miscarriage to make sure that it wasn't an on-the-sly abortion.

 Bobby Franklin:  Fixing the deficit by... giving police departments overtime pay?

"It gets worse. Franklin wants to create a Uterus Police to investigate miscarriages, and requires that any time a miscarriage occurs, whether in a hospital or without medical assistance, it must be reported and a fetal death certificate issued. If the cause of death is unknown, it must be investigated.  If the woman can't tell how it happened, than those Uterus Police can ask family members and friends how it happened.  Hospitals are required to keep records of anyone who has a spontaneous abortion and  report it. Yup, we've been waiting for someone to suggest this--and Franklin has."

Because the police don't have enough to do in Georgia?  Now they gotta run around and ask your family about your miscarriage?  Lamesauce!  What's next?  Spying on people to make sure they stay in the missionary position? 


Chris Barron Ignores My Letter, Continues To Get The Taste Of Kiwi On His Tongue


GOProud confirmed that they would once again capitulate to their conservative masters in order to continue their participation in the hatestravaganza that is the Republican Party.

"A Red State commenter observes: 'GOProud has recently scrubbed their website of all material referring to the repeal of DADT and their support for gay marriage.' He adds that an old press release celebrating the repeal of DADT does remain on the site at the moment."

This, following Chris Barron's assertion that they are SO not for gay marriage nor the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  Of course, Barron got gay-married himself in Washington DC in March '10.  How do those boots taste, Chris?

[My Letter To Barron]

I Bet This Guy Eats Shellfish, Too

There's something cute about quoting an admonition against man-on-man love from Leviticus-- by tattooing it on your body.  Tattoos, of course, being forbidden.  By Leviticus.  Uh.

Who is this supposed to impress?  Women?  "Look ladies, I am extremely NOT gay.  There's NO WAY WHATSOEVER that I like cock up my bum.  Look at my tattoo!  BTW, wear this strapon in the sack.  Hurry up."


The Right: Get Back To Your Breeding Pen, Wench! compiled a list of recent moves by Republicans on both the state and federal level to attack the rights of women.  Not just a list of anti-abortion measures, it includes budget cuts and arguments aimed at keeping "them durn wimmin at home!  Whar they shud be!"

 A Republican housewife takes a break between suckling her 15 young and preparing food to let her immigrant housewife tend to her pedicure.

Check it out:

1) Republicans not only want to reduce women's access to abortion care, they're actually trying to redefine rape. After a major backlash, they promised to stop. But they haven't yet. Shocker.
2) A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to "accuser." But victims of other less gendered crimes, like burglary, would remain "victims."
3) In South Dakota, Republicans proposed a bill that could make it legal to murder a doctor who provides abortion care. (Yep, for real.)
4) Republicans want to cut nearly a billion dollars of food and other aid to low-income pregnant women, mothers, babies, and kids. 
5) In Congress, Republicans have a bill that would let hospitals allow a woman to die rather than perform an abortion necessary to save her life.
6) Maryland Republicans ended all county money for a low-income kids' preschool program. Why? No need, they said. Women should really be home with the kids, not out working.
7) And at the federal level, Republicans want to cut that same program, Head Start, by $1 billion. That means over 200,000 kids could lose their spots in preschool.
8) Two-thirds of the elderly poor are women, and Republicans are taking aim at them too. A spending bill would cut funding for employment services, meals, and housing for senior citizens.
9) Congress just voted for a Republican amendment to cut all federal funding from Planned Parenthood health centers, one of the most trusted providers of basic health care and family planning in our country.
10) And if that wasn't enough, Republicans are pushing to eliminate all funds for the only federal family planning program. (For humans. But Republican Dan Burton has a bill to provide contraception for wild horses. You can't make this stuff up).

Remember:  God thinks it's okay to use contraceptives for livestock, but not humans!  


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Just When You Thought Everything Sucked

A drunk BABY!!!!

This is totally me on a bender.

Comic Queers Rejoice!

The new NBC Wonder Woman TV series has found the newest incarnation of the Amazon Princess:

Adrianne Palicki

Yeah, she'll do.  Though I have to admit, some of the character changes that we've been hearing about in advance of the series sounds worrying. 


OAQ on Hivster

Totes forgot to post that I have a new piece out on Hivster.  Check it out.


Facebook Loves The Gays

Recognizing that "It's Complicated" just doesn't cover everything, Facebook added two new options to their "relationship status" section of personal profiles.

"In response to the hodgepodge of relationship legal statuses that exists in America and around the world, Facebook has added two options to describe users’ relationships. Now uses can also choose from 'in a civil union' and 'in a domestic partnership' to add to their profiles in the U.S., Canada, France, the U.K., and Australia, starting today."

OMG!  Facebook is destroying traditional marriage!!!  So is NOM going to boycott them?  No?  Weird. 


Geek Shit Wednesday Vol. II. On Thursday. STFU.

Ok, I missed Wednesday-- I'm out in the country relying on a satellite internet connection... Which is problematic when my sister's house is just high enough that it's freaking snowing here, crampin' my style.  Anyway, here's Geek Shit Wednesday:  Thursday Edition.

"Firefly" Returning To TV (Not As Cool As You'd Hope)

I initially screamed and peed my pants when I heard that the popular science fiction western "Firefly" was going to return to TV-- but it's not as awesome as I'd hoped.  It's re-airing (not airing new episodes) on Syfy.  Sigh.  It's cool though, it's the first time in years it's been on a major cable channel, and I'm pretty sure I'll still watch it (I mean, how many times have I said "gorram" on this blog alone?  I need hobbies).

In a related story, Nathan Fillion said that if he was ever called to play the show's lead, Mal, again, he totes would.  !!!  Hottest Canadian Ever!!!


Russia:  Put Down The Vodka

Some stunning info came out of Russia today:  a third of Russians believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth.

"In a survey released this week, 32 percent of Russians believed the Earth was the center of the Solar system; 55 percent that all radioactivity is man-made; and 29 percent that the first humans lived when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth.

"'It's really quite amazing,' spokeswoman Olga Kamenchuk said of the survey that polled 1,600 people across Russia's regions in January, with a 3.4-percent margin of error."

This is TOTALLY what Russia looked like during the Jurassic.

These obvious scientific fallacies sound insane-- but keep in mind that there are people in OUR country who want to teach in public schools that the Earth was made over a period of 7 days 7,000 years ago.  Uh-huh.


Jobsian Cultists/Motorcycle Enthusiasts Rejoice

Because clearly we need the iPhone to attach to EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE FOREVER, I present:  GaugeFace!

This fancy dock (for $250) interfaces with your Harley's Engine Control Unit to show you such info including tachometer, engine temperature, turn signal indicators, etc.  Seems like a pricey addition to one's bike, but I'm sure some Harley nuts will love it.  I hope it grasps the phone securely; I know I always get paranoid when on a motorcycle.  I always have these nightmare images of my $500 phone tumbling out and smashing to bits on the freeway.


Arcade Fire? Who?

You'd better figure out who Arcade Fire is, and figure it out fast, or else the hipsters will kill you:

I don't know, I know a lot of hipsters and all of them are too lazy to kill someone.  They would sit at home and chainsmoke while whining about you on their blog. 

That's totally different from me, guys.  Seriously.