"Kutcher, 33, the husband of actress Demi Moore, is joining the cast for the upcoming ninth season of the money-spinning show that is scheduled for broadcast in the fall of 2011.
"Friday's statement did not say what role Kutcher would play but industry sources said he is not expected to be a direct replacement for Sheen's womanizing bachelor character."
Charlie's tiger blood was boiling when he responded to the news. "Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!", he reportedly bleated to TMZ.
Careful, Ashton! You don't want to be a recipient of a Charlie Sheen fist of fury!