Monday, May 16, 2011

Texas House Outlaws Airport Groping, Ian Awesome Disappointed

The Texas House has passed legislation banning the TSA from touching your no-no parts.

The infamous "pat-down" procedure has had a bad rap since it was introduced, and once a former Miss America pageant winner claimed that she was molested, well then, that shit had to go!

 Please just grope me once.  There might be a bomb in my hoo ha.

"In the wake of her accusation, a near super-majority of Texas House representatives rushed to add their names to the co-sponsor list, virtually guaranteeing its passage.

"The bill would amend a Texas statute pertaining to 'the offensive touching of persons,' extending it to security personnel who conduct a search 'without probable cause.'"

While there is very little chance that this will have any effect whatsoever, federal law taking precedence over state law, there is basis in Constitutional law for outlawing the grope-happy inspections.

"That's actually the exact wording used in the Constitution in the section outlining prohibitions on unreasonable search and seizure. The legal standard for a lawful search is probable cause: a requirement that law enforcement must meet before most judges will issue search warrants."

I, for one, am incensed!  I traveled last week from Eugene, OR to Washington, DC and back without a single grope!  If they don't grope me, the terrorists win!


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