The Czech Republic has instituted a "tumescence" test to see if the homos seeking asylum in the Eastern European country are actually hot for wiener.
"The practice tests the physical reaction to heterosexual pornographic material. It is apparently used on people who apply for asylum on the basis of suffering homophobic persecution.
According to information provided by the Czech Ministry of the Interior, ‘phallometric testing’ for asylum seekers who claim to be gay may be used 'where inconsistencies appear in [an] interview'”.
What does this mean?
If you're a gay Iranian man who doesn't want to get hanged or beat up for smokin' pole, they hook your Johnson up to a machine, play het porn, and measure if you get boned for it or not. The European Union, of which the Czech Republic is a member, has condemned the practice as "degrading treatment."
EU! Give these guys a break! Everyone knows that Czech gay porn performers are the hottest! They're just trying to protect their national industry!
After laughing, tho, I asked myself: How do they test our sapphic sisters? A "Clitmus" test?