*note: I do not, nor ever plan on, owning an iPhone. I prefer to not be brainwashed, thank you very much.
My VERY gay ex-boyfriend, bless his heart, is now lost to this game. If you don't know what it is, the premise is that a bunch of vicious pigs stole some eggs from the chickens, so the angry avians go on a rampage. The pigs live in fortresses, so in order to take their revenge, you must launch the chickens at said fortresses in order to knock them down. I just don't even understand who must have dreamed this crap up. Many a time on the bus I would turn to my ex to start a sage discourse on important philosophical ideals, and this is what happened:
Me: So, my love, if a tree falls in the woods--
VGEB: Shhhh, chickens.
Me: But the question--
VGEB: The pigs must not win. Shhh.
This is the nightmare this game gives me.
So this game is INSANELY popular. Evidently, worldwide, 200 MILLION HOURS of this game are played a day.
"Games like Angry Birds are reaching a wide audience of players who might never consider buying an Xbox or PlayStation, but are now carrying sophisticated game machines in their pockets — smartphones. Software developers, eager to become the next Rovio, are creating so-called casual games for this crowd, games that are easy to learn and hard to stop playing.
All I know is: Those fucking chickens are scary looking. I don't know, if I were the pigs, I'd steal someone else's eggs. I mean, shit, those birds can knock down walls and boomerang around and stuff! No sir, that's not for me, I have ENOUGH nightmares at night.