Mitt Romney Launches Presidential Campaign, Attacks Barack Obama

Having secured the teenage fangbanger vote, Romney felt confident enough today to launch his presidential campaign with a speech denouncing sitting President Barack Obama.

"A few years ago, Americans did something that was, actually, very much the sort of thing Americans like to do: We gave someone new a chance to lead, someone we hadn't known for very long, who didn't have much of a record but promised to lead us to a better place...At the time, we didn't know what sort of a president he would make...Now, in the third year of his four-year term, we have more than promises and slogans to go by. Barack Obama has failed America."


*yawn*



There's something inevitably weak about a campaign if its only selling point is "I'm not that guy!"