Thursday, April 21, 2011

But I Want My Toaster!

The Montana Supreme Court ruled that criminalizing homosexuality was unconstitutional in that state and, like so many other states, Montana has ignored that ruling.  Many times in the 14 years since the ruling, the legislature has attempted to pass laws decriminalizing gay sex acts and it failed, each and every time.  They failed again this year, and Republican state lawmaker Ken Peterson can tell us why it should keep on failing.

"The legislature's inaction was not, it turns out, another non-priority falling off the too-long to-do list. Rather, it's homophobic lawmakers subtly suggesting that homosexual acts should still be outlawed, the Supreme Court—and equal rights in general—be damned. In fact, at least one lawmaker, Rep. Ken Peterson, R-Billings, an attorney, argues that the archaic law may still apply in certain situations.

"Which situations? According to Peterson, chair of the House Judiciary Committee, there are at least two prosecutable offenses—felonies punishable by up to 10 years in prison and a $50,000 fine. One is the 'recruitment' of non-gays. 'Homosexuals can't go out into the heterosexual community and try to recruit people, or try to enlist them in homosexual acts,' Peterson says. He provides an example: '"Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let's go in this bedroom, and we'll engage in some homosexual acts. You'll find you like it."' Peterson hasn't actually seen this happen, he says, because 'I don't associate with that group of people at all... I've associated with mainstream people all my life.'"

Good for you, Ken.  Congratulations on being mainstream.  Plus!  Congrats on figuring out my master strategy and favorite pickup line:  "Here young man!  Let's go into the homosexual acts room!  Then we can perform some homosexual acts on each other.  Also, perhaps a spot of anal intercourse might be in order, after some fellatio!"

The recruitment myth is one the gays have had to deal with for years.  We kind of just roll our eyes and shrug it off, because we know it's inherently stupid.  Outside the realm of porn (which is fantasy), "Straight neighbor goes gay for a day" instead is really just a case of "Gay neighbor gets it on but doesn't want you to be an ass to him so pretends he is straight."

Because we're not capable of recruitment.  If you aren't intrinsically gay, you can't suddenly love same-sex relations.  Chances are, seeing the failure rate of ex-gay reparative therapy, you can't suddenly become straight either.

Speaking of which, isn't it your camp recruiting from ours?

Here's the difference, and here's why we can't recruit:  We're not the ones telling you that you are amoral, that you are wrecking our nation's culture (though you might be tearing it apart), and we're certainly not telling you that you're going to hell.  The only thing we do is encourage people who are already gay to be okay with themselves.  Because if we don't?  They jump off the fucking George Washington Bridge.  Your hate is killing people, your rhetoric is pushing them off bridges, and if you want to call the support we give people in loving themselves "recruitment?"  Well, hell yeah.  I'm a fuckin' recruiter.

I recruit people into being happy with who they are. 

So fuck off with your allegations of recruitment, Ken.  We don't want your young men, they sound like a handful.  And we've already got our hands full trying to heal the people that you have tortured trying to recruit them to your heteronormative agenda.

That's it.  We should introduce legislation putting a halt to heterosexual recruitment!  I have had it with their ex-gay nonsense, with their claims of my amorality, and with their shaming of a people who should be proud.  I am disgusted by the culture of hate and death that allows men like Ken Peterson to make foul allegations about a class of people that he proudly crows he doesn't even know. 

Lastly, I think it's a pretty tried and true trend in conservative politics that if you're afraid of gays recruiting, it's probably because you're afraid that you can be recruited.  What's in your closet, Ken?


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