Randall, of Honey Badger fame, has now started his own horoscope hotline, so you can get his gay-ass nonsense every day, with one-liner fortunes and a secret word of the day. My horoscope today, delivered in typical lisp and exuberance:
Taurus: Control issues are tough, but please, LET GO ALREADY!
Thanks to reader Adam W. Whom I love. That is all.