Thursday, August 12, 2010
Hey Everyone! Pee-Wee Herman is Sciency!
Pee-Wee came up with the perfect defense!
Paul Reuben was talking to Playboy (all the respectable sorts do) about the accusations against him and he brought up a foolproof point that is sure to dispel rumors that he is a gross public masturbating weirdo (which he is)!
The Hermabator says:
“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her non-dominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”
Clearly! Tho, I would just like to say that SOMEONE I know (not me! I don't ever masturbate) is left-handed and masturbates with his right hand. That guy is a right freak and no mistake!
And since we're talking about Pee-Wee Herman, here's the creepiest PSA ever! Now I'm never going to do crack cocaine. Dammit!