Jimmy Carter Thinks That I Should Be President

In an interview with Big Think, Jimmy Carter stated that America is TOTES ready for a gay prez.

"The former president also believes that the American people are ready for a gay president—maybe not in this coming election, but in the very near future. Americans have made tremendous strides in accepting homosexuality, he says. 'Step-by-step, we have realized that this issue of homosexuality has the same adverse and progressive elements as when we dealt with the race issue 50 years ago – or 40 years ago.'  And with the country acclimated to having a black or female president, it's only a matter of time before it is ready for a gay one, he believes."

He's totally talking about me!  Who else would he be thinking about????  BARNEY FRANK???

Jimmy Carter is magic.

Yeah, right.  Gay prez maybe.  But is America ready for a JEWISH president?  HA!

*OneAngryQueer totally thinks a Jew should be president.  However, we doubt that the voters in Ohio agree.

[BigThink]

Ian Awesome: A Complete F--king Idiot.

Evidently I've gone crazy.

yeah, crazy like THIS bitch.  But less gross.

I've decided to walk cross-country and raise awareness and money for AIDS research.  Yeah, it's true.

Click the link below to the blog I will be using to document the project.  While there will be cross-posting, I didn't think it would be necessary to soil that project (it's for the children!!!!) with all the cussing and assholism I give into on here.

I need a hiking buddy.  Hey!  I know!  You like to walk, right?

[One Foot in Front of the Other]

Dan Choi is in the Hospital

 'Ala saHtak, 'azizi. 

So I wasn't going to post about this at all.  Dan is a friend of mine, and while I am concerned about him, I also respect his privacy and wasn't going to spread it all around.  He wanted to make it public, however, so here ya go:  He has decided to seek treatment for stress and is currently in a VA hospital.

Dan Choi (for those of you who don't know) has been, for the past few years, the face of the fight against Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  He has sacrificed his privacy as well as time for the work necessary to bring this huge issue before the American people.  I admired him long before he ever became my friend.  Even if you don't agree with him, you have to admit:  He's got balls.  Unfortunately, the stress of being center stage can be hugely crushing, and Dan is having a hard time right now.

He released to Pam Spaulding the following statement:

I did not initially want to publicize this but I now realize it is critical for our community to know several things: veterans gay or straight carry human burdens, Activists share similar burdens, no activist should be portrayed as super human, and the failures of government and national lobbying carry consequences far beyond the careers and reputations of corporate leaders, elected officials, High powered lobbyists, or political elites. They ruin lives. My breakdown was a result of a cumulative array of stressors but there is no doubt that the composite betrayals felt on Thursday, by elected leaders and gay organizations as well as many who have exploited my name for their marketing purposes have added to the result. I am certain my experience is not an isolated incident within the gay veteran community.  At the same time, those who have been closest to me know that I truly appreciate their gracious help and mentorship. I am indebted to their hospitality and leadership.

I am, understandably I think, upset about the news and wish Dan a speedy recovery.  If you have well-wishes for him, please leave them in the comments and I will ensure he gets them.  

OAQ on hivster.com

The kind folks over at hivster have again posted my crabbiness.  You can find it below:

[hivster]

The Cure for HIV?

This news got me really fucking excited, and a little bit hopeful.

"On the heels of World AIDS Day comes a stunning medical breakthrough: Doctors believe an HIV-positive man who underwent a stem cell transplant has been cured as a result of the procedure.
Timothy Ray Brown, also known as the 'Berlin Patient,' received the transplant in 2007 as part of a lengthy treatment course for leukemia. His doctors recently published a report in the journal Blood affirming that the results of extensive testing 'strongly suggest that cure of HIV infection has been achieved.'"

I'm trying to not get TERRIBLY excited-- the procedure Mr. Brown underwent is expensive, risky, and painful.  However, this opens up a whole new world of research possibilities.

So, conservatives that think stem cell research is immoral:  Suck it.  I have HIV.  I don't want it anymore.  I hope, and I pray, every day, that a cure will come in my lifetime.  If it comes in the form of stem cell transplants-- hell yeah.  Sock it to me.

[HuffPo]

Read My Blog. When You're Done, I Guess You Can Read These Guys'.

I updated my Required Reading section, which includes a lot of blogs written by smart folks I know, as well as strangers' blogs that either inform me or just make me laugh.  Take a look.  One of my favourites, bea arthur mountains pizza, makes me happy every time I look at it.  Their latest addition:

Ian Awesome considers this the height of good taste.  "Taste."  Ha.  

So scroll down, look to your left, and check out Required Reading.  There are some super smart, and not too well-known, writers found there.  Be the first to follow them!  

A Program Like This is in My Future, I Can Tell

South Korean men who are too busy or too fugly to find a wife:  The answer is here!

Korean software developer Nabix has released a cell phone app with a virtual girlfriend-- lonely hearts, rejoice!

"Launched on November 30 by Nabix, a South Korean developer, the iPhone application 'Honey it's me!' is warming lonely hearts with the voice of 'Mina,' a 20-something virtual woman.
For $1.99, Mina will make video-calls four times a day, showering subscribers with a message of bliss from 100 available. With recorded messages such as 'good night, sweet dreams,' Nabix said it would help subscribers feel someone cares for them and is consistently thinking of them."

Uh, does it make my phone vibrate?  No reason!  Just asking!  Er... Does it?

iPhone cultists everywhere are VERY excited about this.  Of course, who am I to judge?  When the gay version comes out for Palm phones, I'm going to fix my disastrous love life with a handsome phone robot.  Real boys always somehow object to me!

[YahooNews]

Richard Branson: AirAsia's Newest Lady Stewardess! In a Lady Dress!

Sir Richard Branson, the world's foremost rich guy who does crazy things, recently lost a bet to AirAsia's executive, with the penalty being-- dressing up as a lady and serving cocktails on an AirAsia flight! 

From the Huffington Post:

"This wasn't just a gentleman's bet, though: The two men gambled on whose Formula One team would finish higher in a recent championship; Branson bet on his Virgin Racing, while Fernandes bet on his Lotus F1 team. The bet? Whoever lost would serve as a flight attendant on the others airline. It's not what you may think, though: Branson will serve as a female flight attendant, dressed in heels, makeup and dress and will be cleaning the bathrooms (among other duties) on a February 21st flight from London Stansted to Kuala Lumpur."

 Uh, I'll just have an OJ, thanks.  

 

They've said they most likely will be auctioning off seats and donating the proceeds to charity.  They've learned from the gays:  We've been using peen-tucking queens to raise money for important stuff (like lipstick and glitter gowns) for years!  Good for these guys!

[HuffPo]

Stricter Regulations For Buying Murder Weapons: Pffffffft.

The American's right to bear arms isn't just driving up OUR violent crime rates, but yay!  Now other countries!  Hooray, freedom!

Gracias para mis armas, America!  Me encanta Sarah Palin!

"Mexican cartels are taking advantage of U.S. gun laws to buy thousands of weapons that are being used in an escalating drug war that has claimed more than 31,000 lives since late 2006, experts and law enforcement officials tell NBC News.

U.S. firearms agents estimate that around 80 percent of the weapons used by Mexican drug traffickers come from the United States, where cartel leaders are hiring Americans with clean records to make the purchases for them. In the past four years, Mexican authorities say they have seized 90,000 weapons from their nation's drug war."

So:  Tourism, one of Mexico's prime sources of income, is being ruined because people fear these drug cartels that kidnap Americans.  Guess what!  The guns they use are courtesy of bums like the NRA who think that the sale of firearms should have less regulation.  Perfect!  Now everyone can know our pain!

[MSNBC]

Chris Hemsworth: Sex God as Norse God

Ok, guys, so the dude that they picked to play Thor in the upcoming movie (released in May right after my birthday, hint hint, take me to this movie) is a hot fuckin' beast, and I don't even particularly LIKE beards on blonds:

"Why yes, Ian, of COURSE you can eat sushi off of my stomach, help yourself!"

Trailer for my newest favourite fapfest below:

Congress, POTUS Realize That Running a Country is More Important Than Their Vacations

President Obama has vowed to stay in Washington until Congress adjourns for their holiday break, which is pretty much the right thing-- I mean, he HAS essentially foisted off all that tricky "running the country" stuff off on Congress, after all.  I mean, serious, some of this shit?  He can take care of it by sitting down, writing an executive order, and saying "I'm a serious mammer jammer, so do what I say."  Instead, he keeps insisting that we need 500 people to agree on things like, oh, whether gay soldiers get to keep their jobs.  Oy.

I digress.  Looks like his Hawaiian vacay may be delayed!

Barry can't keep his shirt on any more than Pam Anderson can...

"Saturday is supposed to be the start of the Senate's Christmas recess and the day Obama and the first family head for Hawaii.  However, Gibbs told reporters that a Saturday departure appears unlikely.  'I think the Senate is going to be in longer than this week,' he said, adding that Obama will stay in Washington for 'as long as the Congress is here.'"

Good fucking Christ!!  This makes the news?  Why would we, as Americans, think this is extraordinary?  Imagine this headline:

"Postman Couldn't Clock Out On Time Today Because He Didn't Deliver All His Mail in a Prompt Manner."

Motherfuckers, you are lucky you GET a holiday.  Quit being douches and do your jobs instead.  

[CNN]

OMG! Real Life Da Vinci Code!

Conspiracy theorists and Da Vinci Coders alike are jizzing buckets over the news that tiny letters and numbers have been discovered painted into the Mona Lisa's eyes:

"Intrigue is usually focused on her enigmatic smile.  But the Mona Lisa was at the centre of a new mystery yesterday after art detectives took a fresh look at the masterpiece – and noticed something in her eyes.  Hidden in the dark paint of her pupils are tiny letters and numbers, placed there by the artist Leonardo da Vinci and revealed only now thanks to high-­magnification technique."

Secret lover or artist with a gender identity crisis?  You decide.

The Mona Lisa, long the focus of intense speculation (Who was this bitch?  Why is she smiling?  Couldn't he have used a bigger canvas?), has been found to contain, in the left eye, the letters L and V, with some other stuff in the other eye that they can't quite make out-- the number 72, or L and 2, or something.  Considering Signore Da Vinci was fond of riddles (leading some to believe that the Mona Lisa is actually the artist in drag), people are of course drooling all over themselves trying to figure out what it means.  

Call me crazy, but I can't make out a goddamn thing in the following picture:

Mystery!  Excitement!  Uh...  I'm ready for a nap.

Oh well.  I guess I'll just have to figure out other, less important things, like how the hell I'm going to feed myself next month.  Whatevs!

[theDailyMail]

Minneapolis Metrodome is Falling Down

The following video is the roof of the local football stadium in Minneapolis caving in under the pressure of the snow that had fallen on it.  I really wouldn't care less about this story, but the video below is kind of awesome-- the collapse, as it happened, from inside the stadium.  Kinda reminds you of a disaster movie or something a la The Day After Tomorrow or Titanic.

 

My Time In The Army Was Ruined By Your Beer Gut

Ok, I have had it with people in the military thinking that I want to fuckin' check them out in the shower.

For instance, in the following op-ed in the Navy Times, the author, while realistic about the need to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell, still operates on the principle that I want his nasty ass and am going to eye-rape him in the shower-- thus necessitating shower curtains.

I have a few things to say about this:

a)  If I'm checking you out in the shower, you ain't gonna know it.  You think you're going to catch me checkin' you out?  Like, I'm going to stand there with my mouth agape, ogling your nalgas?  I'm a smooth operator, sonny, and you would never know.

b)  You are probably too fugly for me.  While soldiers are the salt of the earth, the backbone of our democracy, and the finest people I've ever had the privilege to meet-- well, let's just say none of them were in any beauty pageants (except for Vivian, but she's crazy).  I mean, seriously, NONE of them seemed to know proper grooming, and bacne?  I can't even talk about it.

c)  In addition-- this fear that I'm going to grope you in a foxhole?  If we're in a hole in the ground we are most likely in a combat zone-- in the fucking wilderness.  You probably haven't showered in weeks.  NO THANK YOU.

You know, actually, yes, install shower curtains.  That would be an improvement!  That way I DON'T HAVE to see your naked flabby ass squishing around the showers...

[The Navy Times]