Not only is he steamy, but he says he is going to join me for part of my cross-country trek. That's right, bitches, there's going to be sexy "bathing in the watering hole" scenes. Uh, for charity. For the children.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Not Only Am I Hot, But My Friends Are Too
My good friend Evan, aka Tony Apollo, worked with me when we were barbacks at Grand Central in Baltimore. He was a hot beast then, but has only gotten mas delicioso with age.
Not only is he steamy, but he says he is going to join me for part of my cross-country trek. That's right, bitches, there's going to be sexy "bathing in the watering hole" scenes. Uh, for charity. For the children.
Not only is he steamy, but he says he is going to join me for part of my cross-country trek. That's right, bitches, there's going to be sexy "bathing in the watering hole" scenes. Uh, for charity. For the children.
Suck It, Bigots, Homophobes, and Assholes (IE: John McCain)
This morning Don't Ask Don't Tell was repealed by a final vote in the Senate by a vote of 65-31.
Wow. I don't even know how to feel about this. I knew it would come someday... but it's different when it finally happens.
Close friend, fellow servicemember, and DADT activist Patrick English had this to say:
"It feels amazing. Reality hasn't really sunk in yet."
No shit.
Patrick, like myself, has been involved in anti-DADT activism for years-- he was involved with the Call to Duty tour, where he traveled from state to state and school to school giving talks about DADT and its negative effects on our fighting force. He was in the gallery this morning watching the vote as it occurred. I asked him to tell me about the atmosphere amongst those watching.
"There was tension," he tells me, "but an overwhelming sense of hopefulness. There were a lot of people who had been discharged there, and everyone was saying, 'Today is the day.'"
As soon as the vote came through, he told me, he turned to Victor Fehrenbach. Fehrenbach is a USAF pilot who was waiting to be discharged involuntarily for being gay. "He had tears in his eyes."
Fehrenbach gets to keep his job.
What a historic day.
Michael Bedwell, who was on the fence when I got arrested at the White House, has been fighting against Don't Ask Don't Tell for decades and was a close friend of Leonard Matlovich, the first servicemember to ever come out as gay. Matlovich has since passed away, but Michael continued his work in advocacy. I asked him his reaction.
"Very mixed feelings. First because there's still going to be a fight to get them to actual end it within a reasonable amount of time, and second because Leonard and SO many others aren't alive to see us even at the threshold."
I'm sure Leonard sees it, Michael.
Good job, everyone.
Wow. I don't even know how to feel about this. I knew it would come someday... but it's different when it finally happens.
Close friend, fellow servicemember, and DADT activist Patrick English had this to say:
"It feels amazing. Reality hasn't really sunk in yet."
No shit.
Specialist Patrick English
Patrick, like myself, has been involved in anti-DADT activism for years-- he was involved with the Call to Duty tour, where he traveled from state to state and school to school giving talks about DADT and its negative effects on our fighting force. He was in the gallery this morning watching the vote as it occurred. I asked him to tell me about the atmosphere amongst those watching.
"There was tension," he tells me, "but an overwhelming sense of hopefulness. There were a lot of people who had been discharged there, and everyone was saying, 'Today is the day.'"
As soon as the vote came through, he told me, he turned to Victor Fehrenbach. Fehrenbach is a USAF pilot who was waiting to be discharged involuntarily for being gay. "He had tears in his eyes."
Fehrenbach gets to keep his job.
Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach
What a historic day.
Michael Bedwell, who was on the fence when I got arrested at the White House, has been fighting against Don't Ask Don't Tell for decades and was a close friend of Leonard Matlovich, the first servicemember to ever come out as gay. Matlovich has since passed away, but Michael continued his work in advocacy. I asked him his reaction.
Tech Sgt. Leonard Matlovich
"Very mixed feelings. First because there's still going to be a fight to get them to actual end it within a reasonable amount of time, and second because Leonard and SO many others aren't alive to see us even at the threshold."
I'm sure Leonard sees it, Michael.
Good job, everyone.
The Top Ten Quotes of 2010
Fred Shapiro, Yale librarian, compiled this year's top quotes. I then fucked it up by making a raccoon and a long-distance phone plan salesman recite them for you. Enjoy.
Ian Awesome's Archnemesis is Totes a Ne'er-do-well!
This Douglas person is totally besmirching the Awesome name!
A fellow adventurer and associate from high school has a harrowing tale to tell from 2001!
So, every day that the paper was late, my parents would call and complain, and the problems didn't end.
The only time the paper was on time was when he was still drunk Saturday morning and would deliver it at four a.m.
So he got tired of being complained at and he TP'ed our rhodie bush, but a few days earlier 'Doug' told me it was going to happen."
She suspects that this Doug, who was friends with the hoodlum delivery person, was directly involved in this ghastly crime. Ugh! Don't even talk to this person! He is a criminal mastermind and should be avoided!
Neither a captain, NOR awesome. Discuss.
A fellow adventurer and associate from high school has a harrowing tale to tell from 2001!
"Well, it had to be after spring 2000, cause that's when we moved to this house. I'd say roughly 2001.
The paper boy, whose name is (removed), was always always late and/or noisy, and at my house we need our newspaper by 6 a.m. sharp and we wake up if you and your crappy-ass friends are drunk while you deliver it.
So, every day that the paper was late, my parents would call and complain, and the problems didn't end.
They got to the point where they would just write down the time it came and only call once a week to file 7 complaints at once.
The only time the paper was on time was when he was still drunk Saturday morning and would deliver it at four a.m.
So he got tired of being complained at and he TP'ed our rhodie bush, but a few days earlier 'Doug' told me it was going to happen."
She suspects that this Doug, who was friends with the hoodlum delivery person, was directly involved in this ghastly crime. Ugh! Don't even talk to this person! He is a criminal mastermind and should be avoided!
Friday, December 17, 2010
WTF is Going on in Mexico???
Clearly these people have gone crizazy!
"More than 140 inmates escaped via the main entrance of a prison near the U.S. border on Friday in the biggest Mexican jailbreak since the government began its war on drugs four years ago.
Hours later, suspected hitmen blew up a car outside a police station near the business hub of Monterrey in the latest act of brinkmanship between drug gangs and officials."
Plus!
"A small drone used by Mexican federal police was flying in its country's airspace before malfunctioning, forcing controllers to crash it across the Texas border in El Paso, a Mexican government official told The Associated Press.
The unmanned aircraft was on routine patrol before it crashed Tuesday night in an El Paso yard, said the Mexican government official, who spoke Friday on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly about the issue."
Ok, guys! You need to simmer down down there. Not only are you buying up our guns and using them to set free your felons, but you're crashing spy planes in THE WORST city in the nation! Why the hell you spying on El Paso? Chrissake! Maybe we toppled the wrong government!
[msnbc-- Drone]
[msnbc-- Jailbreak
Don't ask me, I'm Cuban.
"More than 140 inmates escaped via the main entrance of a prison near the U.S. border on Friday in the biggest Mexican jailbreak since the government began its war on drugs four years ago.
Hours later, suspected hitmen blew up a car outside a police station near the business hub of Monterrey in the latest act of brinkmanship between drug gangs and officials."
Plus!
"A small drone used by Mexican federal police was flying in its country's airspace before malfunctioning, forcing controllers to crash it across the Texas border in El Paso, a Mexican government official told The Associated Press.
The unmanned aircraft was on routine patrol before it crashed Tuesday night in an El Paso yard, said the Mexican government official, who spoke Friday on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly about the issue."
Ok, guys! You need to simmer down down there. Not only are you buying up our guns and using them to set free your felons, but you're crashing spy planes in THE WORST city in the nation! Why the hell you spying on El Paso? Chrissake! Maybe we toppled the wrong government!
[msnbc-- Drone]
[msnbc-- Jailbreak
President Mugabe: STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO BE GOOD TO MY PEOPLE!
The President of Mugabe stated that he would seize the assets of foreign investors in Zimbabwe unless their home countries ceased all sanctions against his poverty-stricken nation.
"The 86-year-old former guerrilla leader said that 'the time has come for ... revenge' and suggested that Zimbabwe's Indigenization and Economic Empowerment Act -- which gives foreign companies five years to submit plans for transferring 51% of their investments to black Zimbabweans -- did not go far enough.
'We can start with that 51%. In some cases, we must read the riot act to the British and others and say them, "This is only 51% we have taken. Unless you remove sanctions, we will go 100%," if they insist the sanctions must remain,' he said."
Sooooo... he's trying to get other countries to be nicer to him by stealing their money... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I think this will work out great for him. This from the guy that compared himself to Hitler and was happy about it. The same guy who is still seizing land from the white minority, who loves nepotism, and has run his economy into the ground.
Why the hell does Africa put up with this punk?
[CNN]
This picture is very misleading. NOBODY would extend this chump a line of credit.
"The 86-year-old former guerrilla leader said that 'the time has come for ... revenge' and suggested that Zimbabwe's Indigenization and Economic Empowerment Act -- which gives foreign companies five years to submit plans for transferring 51% of their investments to black Zimbabweans -- did not go far enough.
'We can start with that 51%. In some cases, we must read the riot act to the British and others and say them, "This is only 51% we have taken. Unless you remove sanctions, we will go 100%," if they insist the sanctions must remain,' he said."
Sooooo... he's trying to get other countries to be nicer to him by stealing their money... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I think this will work out great for him. This from the guy that compared himself to Hitler and was happy about it. The same guy who is still seizing land from the white minority, who loves nepotism, and has run his economy into the ground.
Why the hell does Africa put up with this punk?
[CNN]
Newsflash: Fox News Unfair and Unbalanced
A study through the University of Maryland has confirmed what we all already know. FOX NEWS VIEWERS ARE RETARDED.
"To perhaps nobody's surprise, a study released this week finds that Fox News viewers are the most misinformed of any news consumers.
The University of Maryland study, called 'Misinformation and the 2010 Election,' looked at 'variations in misinformation by exposure to news sources,' among other things, and specifically newspapers and news magazines (in print and online), network TV news broadcasts, NPR and PBS, Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN."
The report goes on to state that these morons routinely believe Fox News BS like:
Their income taxes have gone up!
All scientists agree that climate change is fake!
The stimulus caused job losses!
And other malarkey. But really. Who is surprised?
[TPMmuckraker]
Bill O'Reilly finds your "lifestyle choices" APPALLING.
"To perhaps nobody's surprise, a study released this week finds that Fox News viewers are the most misinformed of any news consumers.
The University of Maryland study, called 'Misinformation and the 2010 Election,' looked at 'variations in misinformation by exposure to news sources,' among other things, and specifically newspapers and news magazines (in print and online), network TV news broadcasts, NPR and PBS, Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN."
The report goes on to state that these morons routinely believe Fox News BS like:
Their income taxes have gone up!
All scientists agree that climate change is fake!
The stimulus caused job losses!
And other malarkey. But really. Who is surprised?
[TPMmuckraker]
This One Likes Me, I Can Tell
This smooth operator, Renato Ferreira, lives in Rio and CLEARLY wants to make a baby with me. Hmmm, I have a friend I can visit down in Brazil...
Via Made In Brazil:
Via Made In Brazil:
Thursday, December 16, 2010
If You See This Guy in Person, Give Him My E-mail. I Have Some Choice Words for Him.
Take a look at this guy. Memorize his face. He is the enemy.
I've been referred to as Ian Awesome for about three years now. I decided I was becoming more awesome and more superhero-like every day! Therefore, I needed to have a new name-- the one that I write under now. Never fear! Ian Awesome is on the case.
His signature is stupid too..
This guy, formerly known as Douglas, changed his name the other day to "Captain Awesome." He lives in Eugene (my hometown). He went to my high school. And he's ruining my rep.
I've been referred to as Ian Awesome for about three years now. I decided I was becoming more awesome and more superhero-like every day! Therefore, I needed to have a new name-- the one that I write under now. Never fear! Ian Awesome is on the case.
At one point, I seriously considered changing my legal name to Ian Awesome. It's not something I've ruled out. Can't do that now!
"But he officially became Captain Awesome only last month, when a Lane County Circuit Court judge approved his name change petition. And his new first name is no title, he made clear in a recent interview.
'Hi! I’m Captain,' he said, making this story even more fun to write. Journalists refer to subjects by last name only on second and subsequent references. So, that’s Awesome!
Any reader who — like Awesome — watches the television show 'Chuck' will not be surprised to know how he chose his new moniker. It was, indeed, inspired by a character on the NBC action/drama series: Dr. Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb.
'I just thought it was really funny that Devon’s father always called him Captain Awesome because "a poor nickname builds good character,"' said the local Awesome, an out-of-work cabinet installer."
HA! Likely story. So, dear reader, YOU decide. Who's the poser-- MOI, or this... this... CABINET MONKEY?!
[The Register Guard]
[The Register Guard]
Pope Says Some Stupid Shit. Uh, Again.
Pope Ratzboner says that Christians are the most persecuted people in the world.
Right.
"'At present, Christians are the religious group which suffers most from persecution on account of its faith,' the pontiff asserted, and cited Christian communities suffering from violence and intolerance particularly in Asia, Africa, the MiddleEast and the Holy Land.
'This situation is intolerable, since it represents an insult to God and to human dignity' as well as 'a threat to security and peace,' Benedict wrote in one of the 17-page-long message's strongest passages.
He appealed to authorities to 'act promptly to end every injustice' against Christians."
Uh-huh. The world's largest religion, represented by one quarter to a third of THE POPULATION OF PLANET EARTH is the most persecuted. Maybe he should come to America and claim that-- while Muslims are slowly being denigrated as terrorists and the scum of the earth.
Please note: He pleaded for an end of injustice against Christians-- NOT injustice on the basis of religion. The Jews and Hindus? Toss 'em in the clink! CHRISTIANS? Nonono, we can't bother those guys, there are just not enough of them around. HA!
I know, Papa! Why don't you go back to your naked acrobats and Prada slippers and stop fucking talking? Where did they get this guy?! Oh right! Hitler Youth. I forgot.
[msnbc]
Right.
Imma eatcha! In German tho.
"'At present, Christians are the religious group which suffers most from persecution on account of its faith,' the pontiff asserted, and cited Christian communities suffering from violence and intolerance particularly in Asia, Africa, the Middle
'This situation is intolerable, since it represents an insult to God and to human dignity' as well as 'a threat to security and peace,' Benedict wrote in one of the 17-page-long message's strongest passages.
He appealed to authorities to 'act promptly to end every injustice' against Christians."
Uh-huh. The world's largest religion, represented by one quarter to a third of THE POPULATION OF PLANET EARTH is the most persecuted. Maybe he should come to America and claim that-- while Muslims are slowly being denigrated as terrorists and the scum of the earth.
Please note: He pleaded for an end of injustice against Christians-- NOT injustice on the basis of religion. The Jews and Hindus? Toss 'em in the clink! CHRISTIANS? Nonono, we can't bother those guys, there are just not enough of them around. HA!
I know, Papa! Why don't you go back to your naked acrobats and Prada slippers and stop fucking talking? Where did they get this guy?! Oh right! Hitler Youth. I forgot.
[msnbc]
"Mesozoic. Cretaceous. Cro-Magnon Man."
I'm a big fan of all these redonkulous videos coming out where they're all terribly animated and talk in robot voices. What fun! I think I'll have to make one myself.
This one, found below, addresses a subject I get enraged about: exercise cults and the schmucks who buy into them.
You will NEVER find me in a fucking gym. EVER. A) I'm hot enough already. If you doubt that, look left. Hot. B) People who work out too much are zombies. They only want to talk about working out. They only WANT to work out. They either hate their bodies or want to fuck themselves silly. They're CRAZY.
Hint: If you talk more about working out than I talk about my blog-- you have a goddamn problem.
CrossFit is an example of that! I mean, shit, this program entailing "carrying odd objects" is in 2000 gyms worldwide and looks stupid. STUPID. Stupid like a seizure. Don't be a cultist! Go for a walk. Go for a jog. Don't be an asshole and work out twenty thousand times a day. Please.
This one, found below, addresses a subject I get enraged about: exercise cults and the schmucks who buy into them.
You will NEVER find me in a fucking gym. EVER. A) I'm hot enough already. If you doubt that, look left. Hot. B) People who work out too much are zombies. They only want to talk about working out. They only WANT to work out. They either hate their bodies or want to fuck themselves silly. They're CRAZY.
Hint: If you talk more about working out than I talk about my blog-- you have a goddamn problem.
CrossFit is an example of that! I mean, shit, this program entailing "carrying odd objects" is in 2000 gyms worldwide and looks stupid. STUPID. Stupid like a seizure. Don't be a cultist! Go for a walk. Go for a jog. Don't be an asshole and work out twenty thousand times a day. Please.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Pope Gets a Bone for Stripping Acrobats
This is the reason why the pope thinks gay hookers should be able to wear condoms.
Just look at his face at the end! You know what he's thinking. "Thank goodness I converted the Sistine Chapel into a BDSM dungeon!"
Just look at his face at the end! You know what he's thinking. "Thank goodness I converted the Sistine Chapel into a BDSM dungeon!"
The House Is Smarter Than the Senate, THE END
The House of Representatives voted today to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Yay for the House! Hopefully the Senate will get a clue too.
Prez Barry released the following statement:
I particularly want to thank Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, and Congressman Patrick Murphy for their leadership on this issue. I have consistently called for the repeal of this law. Moving forward with the repeal is not only the right thing to do, it will also give our military the clarity and certainty it deserves. We must ensure that Americans who are willing to risk their lives for their country are treated fairly and equally by their country."
Essentially: "Thanks for making a decision that the Commander-in-Chief didn't have the balls to make!"
[Towleroad]
These guys promised to make out with each and every Rep.
Prez Barry released the following statement:
"I applaud the House for passing, with bipartisan support, the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Repeal Act of 2010. Legislative repeal is supported by the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The process contained in this legislation allows for a smooth and responsible repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in a way that maintains good order and discipline in our military ranks. Indeed, all of the Service Chiefs have said that when this law is changed , they will implement an orderly transition effectively and efficiently. As the comprehensive study by the Department of Defense clearly shows, we can move to a new policy in a responsible manner that ensures our military strength and our national security.
I particularly want to thank Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, and Congressman Patrick Murphy for their leadership on this issue. I have consistently called for the repeal of this law. Moving forward with the repeal is not only the right thing to do, it will also give our military the clarity and certainty it deserves. We must ensure that Americans who are willing to risk their lives for their country are treated fairly and equally by their country."
Essentially: "Thanks for making a decision that the Commander-in-Chief didn't have the balls to make!"
[Towleroad]
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