Tuesday, November 8, 2011

OneAngryClotheshorse: Don't do gymnastics - you'll get hurt and catch the gay.

Bon Apres-midi, mes amis! I awoke today from my post breakfast, pre brunch nap to read this story from the Daily Mail (a UK publication prone to scandalmongering): "Burly rugby player has a stroke after freak gym accident…wakes up gay and becomes a hairdresser". Apparently a large heterosexual in Wales was attempting a backflip to impress his friends and botched it, breaking his neck and causing a stroke. When he woke up everything had changed, including his sexuality. Well, now...That's very convenient for him, but it invites so many questions. Were you gay before, and are you just lying about it now? Was the stroke responsible for your questionable styling decisions (pun definitely intended)? Would it work for various Tea Party politicians, who could CLEARLY use a good stroking? His massive weight loss - going from 19st to 11st (nearly 115 lbs) is also problematic, contributing to the unfair stereotype that all gay men are in fabulous shape.

Obviously we need to research this dubious claim in the name of science, so the Liberal Media Elite can add "stroke recruiting" to its Gay Agenda. As soon as we figure out how to fix the ensuing fashion disaster apparently innate to this technique.



No comments:

Post a Comment