Governor Goodhair Attacks Gays, Is Still Stupid

The gay blogosphere is all abuzz with Rick Perry's latest attempt to find relevancy after multiple gaffes which have derailed his candidacy for the Republican nomination for President, as yesterday he released a video attacking the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell and "the war on religion."  Watch:



Oh, Rick... if only you had a better wardrobe consultant. AMERICAblog and others have pointed out in glee that the jacket he's wearing has a gay significance of its own:

Poor Rick. He just can't get ahead! Word to the wise: don't dress like a gay cowboy when you're attacking... uh, gay people.


Not everyone in Camp Perry are pleased with the ad, with top pollster (and, as reported by JoeMyGod, big-time homo) Tony Fabrizio calling it "nuts":

But not everyone was comfortable with the script. When the ad was being crafted several weeks ago, Perry's top pollster, Tony Fabrizio, called it "nuts," according to an email sent from Fabrizio to the ad's main creator, longtime GOP operative Nelson Warfield. In a separate email to The Huffington Post, Warfield confirmed that the ad was made over Fabrizio's objections. 

"Tony was against it from the get-go," Warfield wrote. "It was the source of some extended conversation in the campaign. To be very clear: That spot was mine from writing the poll question to test[ing] it to drafting the script to overseeing production."

Hint to gay strategists: if you don't want to work for a CRAZY PERSON don't sign on with a governor from Texas.  They're ALL nutty.

Santorum: Homophobia And Anti-Islamic Sentiment In One Sentence? Yes Please!

Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum has stepped in it yet again.  Evidently not happy with the fact that Dan Savage has forever linked his name to poopy lube, Rick is continuing his ride on the Waaaaahmbulance by accusing the gay community of issuing a jihad on him.  Because, of course, we do that.

"So the gay community said, 'He's comparing gay sex to incest and polygamy, how dare he do this,' and they have gone out on a, I would argue, jihad against Rick Santorum since then," the former senator said at a campaign stop in Spartanburg, S.C., on Friday.

Okay, fine, Rick.  No, we don't like you.  Yes, we changed the definition of your name-- not once, but twice-- to mean something real icky.  We laugh at your nonsensical "towel, napkin, tree, car" arguments against marriage equality and call you an idiot.  All those things are true. But, really?  A jihad?

Hey, though, congrats on being both anti-gay AND anti-Muslim all in one sentence.  You get extra asshole points for that one.

No, Bert And Ernie Aren't Gay. Get Over It.

There's a petition circling the blogosphere asking Sesame Street to give up the ghost and finally hitch Bert and Ernie, a pair of puppets that have had gay pundits asking for years if they were lovers.  The pair have been roommates since the show's inception, providing comic relief in an educational setting for millions of toddlers over the years.

Yes, I love this.  No, they're still not gay.

The petition, started by Lair Scott of Change.org and promoted by the incomparable David Badash of the New Civil Rights Movement, reads as follows:

"It’s important for our children to be educated that it’s okay to be gay. For over 40 years, our beloved Sesame St. characters, Bert and Ernie, have been living as ‘roomates’ and we would like PBS and Sesame St. to allow them to live as a gay couple and maybe eventually, marry. It would show children and their parents that not only is it acceptable but also teach children that homophobia is wrong, bullying is wrong and that Sesame street should recognize that there are LGBT relationships, families, and include them in their show.

"We’re not here to debate our mission but we are here to educate. Please share our link with other friendly walls and join us in our quest to bring Bert and Ernie to the forefront of educating our children, to say "Gay is okay" !!  "

The Sesame Workshop first addressed this terribly important issue back in the early 90s with a firm denial of the homosexuality of the characters:

"'Bert and Ernie, who’ve been on Sesame Street for 25 years, do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future,' stated Sesame Workshop back in 1993. 'They are puppets, not humans. Like all the Muppets created for Sesame Street, they were designed to help educate preschoolers. Bert and Ernie are characters who help demonstrate to children that despite their differences, they can be good friends.'"

There you have it.  Not.  Gay. 

I feel it's necessary to add a little something myself: One of the first lessons any young LGBT person needs to realize is that certain situations aren't necessarily gay.  Just because two men have a close relationship it does not necessarily mean that they are secret lovers.  Is this a case of Sesame Street oppressing two puppet's love?  No.  I think this is a case of "Everyone-is-gay-itis," which is simply just not true.

Yes.  Two men can be longtime friends and roommates without bumping felted uglies, so to speak.  Can we move on?

Perhaps a more worthwhile petition to sign, however, is this petition asking Sesame Street to end its business relationship with an anti-gay referral service, the Christian Values Network:

Did you know that dozens of major brands, including Target, Macy’s, USA Today, Netflix, Apple, Dell, and even Sesame Street are supporting known hate groups through the link referral service know as the Christian Values Network (CVN)? 

According to CVN, there are more than 170,000 charities that benefit from the CVN’s service by receiving donations through purchases made through the site. For example, someone could buy airline tickets from Delta, and the airline would make a donation to the charity of the customer’s choice through CVN. 

Unfortunately, there are several organizations included on CVN’s service that support discrimination. In addition to Focus on the Family's anti-gay agenda, the Southern Poverty Law Center has declared organizations like the Family Research Council and Abiding Truth Ministries as known “hate groups,” for their blatant and repeated homophobic lies about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people. These organizations receive donations through CVN when customers buy products through CVN stores. 

Sesame Street, a trusted children's program, is allowing its brand to be used to raise money for organizations whose major focus of work is hurting lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. This has to stop. Call on Sesame Street to insist CVN stop using their brand to raise money for hate.

See?  Stop trying to make everyone gay and instead have an impact on negative business practices.

I Vote Ann Coulter The Queen Of Offensively Smug

Ann Coulter recently declared herself the Queen of Fabulous, but I find this dour-faced woman to be anything but.  Instead, below, I've come up with some alternate titles inspired by a recent C-SPAN interview.

Ann is so busy rolling her eyes her neglect of looking at the camera is reaching Bachmannesque proportions.

I comfort myself, while watching this video, with the idea that her bullshit is too outlandish even for her, and that none of the crap she says she's really serious about.  Among her assertions:

1.  She hangs around GOProud because she is looking for a new hairstylist (thanks, Queen of Condescension!).

2.  Log Cabin Republicans are not true conservatives (thanks, Queen of Elitism!).

3.  Liberal gays weren't born gay, but instead have daddy issues (I'm a little speechless over this.  Ann Coulter: Queen of Stunning My Big Fat Mouth Into Silence)?!

4.  If a gay gene is ever discovered, abortion clinics will be in overdrive aborting all those gay babies (ladies and gentlemen, HRM Ann Coulter I, Queen of Fearmongering).

Watch:



Um, is it just me, or was anyone else concerned that her head would fall off her neck with all the sarcastic eyeroll-head-bobbing?

UPDATE:  The Log Cabin Republicans have fired back at the so-called Gay Icon with a press release titled "Comedienne Ann Coulter" regarding her appointment as "Honorary Chair" of the advisory board of GOProud.

"Ann Coulter is not a serious part of the conservative movement -- her positions are a throwback and do more harm than anything else. Her remarks endorsing the widely outdated and profoundly harmful idea of 'reparative therapy,' alleging that one can 'pray the gay away,' are not only demeaning to gays and lesbians, but are offensive to all people of faith. While her position on this matter is off base, it is exacerbated by her claim that the armed forces should bring back 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,' a failed policy which impedes military readiness. Servicemembers who put their lives on the line deserve respect, not such clownish behavior."

We Need To Talk

I love DYAC (Damn You AutoCorrect), which can always get me shrieking with laughter.  Yes, yes, I'm a screamer.  I found this one particularly funny.

Cain Staffers Quit, Cuz Basically He Sucks

The Herman Cain campaign appears to be heading the way of Newt's own obstacle-ridden run for president, with two key staffers resigning on Friday just days after two others called it quits.

Cain's regional director and New Hampshire state director were joined by the Iowa organizational director and straw poll manager, with Cain's spokesperson attempting to downplay the organizational director's role in Cain's overall presidential bid strategy.

Tina Goff, the staffer in question, cited a lack of Cain's focus on Iowa as the reason for her departure, as CNN reports:

"Goff told CNN that the conservative businessman 'wasn't willing to make the commitment to Iowa necessary to win the [Ames] straw poll.' That contest is seen as an early test of success in Iowa.

"Goff added that she was concerned by the amount of money and time the Cain campaign was committing to that straw poll. However, she declined to discuss specifics.

"'I didn't want it to go this way,' Goff said. 'I'm very sad about it.'"

Break out the lifeboats, kids, cuz this ship's a-sinkin'!  Cain's spokesperson, Communications Director Ellen Carmichael, insisted that Goff was merely junior level and that her assertions about Cain's activities in her state were entirely untrue.  According to her count, the presidential candidate will Iowa 22 times in upcoming weeks and that was more than enough. 

Maybe Herman should stick to making pizza.  Many of the conservatives I've spoken to don't seem to take him any more seriously than I do; at the GOProud mixer I attended in Minneapolis one busty (and tipsy) self-identified Libertarian declared, "We just have him so we can say we have a black person."  Ouch.

HRC Store Vandalized, Radical Queer Group Claims Responsibility

This is about as useful as board shorts in Antarctica.

The HRC store staff in DuPont Circle arrived to work this morning to find the store vandalized, with cosmetic damage done in the form of pink paint on the window and the word "Stonewall" spray-painted on the sidewalk.  The act was claimed by a group calling themselves the "The Right Honorable Wicked Stepmothers’ Traveling, Drinking and Debating Society and Men’s Auxiliary," and urged the gay community (after referencing snorting ritalin and drinking whisky) to cease giving money to the gay rights giant.

From their press release (via the Washington Blade):

"Why, you’re asking, did we specifically target the HRC, a massive national gay rights non-profit as opposed to vomiting urine on Rick Santorum or something equally fun?

"Put simply, they suck. What do they suck? Cash. Lots of it.

"The HRC rakes in something approaching 50 million dollars a year in revenue–their executive director, Joe Salmonellamayonaisemanese pulls in a salary of several hundred grand. What have we gotten out of this bloated carcass? Not a thing worth mentioning and every now and then, they eagerly sell trans people up the river. Seriously, this is an organization that hordes money and does nothing useful. It’s a sad, sick dinosaur.

"Meanwhile, in Washington, DC violence against the LGBT community is on the rise; DC’s only LGBT center is forced to go hat in hand to real estate developers and beg for space, only to face eviction a few years down the road; We lack a homeless shelter for queer youth and services for our community are the victims of budget cuts. Can you think of something better to do with a few million dollars?"

They then suggested that money could be better used by buying glitter (cute, guys, cute).  

I've often been a critic of the HRC and other organizations falling under the tongue-in-cheek term "Gay Inc," but vandalizing property on a whim while extolling the effects of snorting ritalin is not only stupid, but completely pointless.  I hate to say it, but I agree with the HRC's Director of Communications, Michael Cole Schwartz:

"HRC’s DC Action Center and Store was vandalized last night with paint on the front windows and an LGBT group has claimed responsibility for the crime. It’s unfortunate that after a marriage win in New York that represented an unprecedented coming together of LGBT groups, some are more interested in fostering division in the community."

Do I think that the HRC alone is to thank for marriage equality in New York?  Hell no.  Do I think the HRC's efforts are ineffective?  Most times.  Do I think they are Democratic apologists?  Uh-huh.  Should we wreck their shit?  Hell no, what's the point of that?

Morgan Apologizes

"I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville. I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context."

Still no word from NBC as to whether or not there will be any penalty or whether this will affect Morgan's job on 30 Rock.

 

[Towleroad] 

Takei Does Sister Act

Still desperate for a job on Broadway, George Takei has tossed his name in to join the cast of Sister Act as Sister Mary Teriyaki.



Oh.  Myyyyy.

NMA On Weiner's Weiner

I really couldn't care less about the Weiner Tweets-his-weiner scandal, but Taiwanese animation producer NMA had some thoughtful tips for the US Rep. on how to perv out on Twitter without getting caught.

Infographic: Marriage Between Cousins Vs. Gay Marriage

It is frequently legal in the US to marry your cousin.  Five times as many states allow it as do states who allow gay marriage.

So yes, in Connecticut you can gay-marry your cousin.  There ya go.

Mitt Romney Loves Soft-Core Teen Porn, Distances Self From Vampires

Mitt Romney wants you to know he's just like millions of teenage girls (and me, I'm sad to say) in that he's read the Twilight books.

"'I mean I like the Twilight series. I thought it was fun,' Romney said. 'I don't like vampires personally, I don't know any but you know my granddaughter was reading it and I thought, well this looks like fun so I read that.'"

While there are many things wrong with this statement, I think it's extra hilarious that he makes a point of telling people he doesn't associate with vampires.  This will clearly win him the nomination-- when I think of Michele Bachmann, I think "bloodsucker."

This brings to mind a more important question-- when is OAQ favorite Taylor Lautner going to go "Brokeback" and do gay-for-pay?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Obama Issues Lackluster Gay Pride Proclamation

Barry O released his annual gay pride proclamation, but this year he omitted any reference to official recognition of gay relationships.

"The story of America's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community is the story of our fathers and sons, our mothers and daughters, and our friends and neighbors who continue the task of making our country a more perfect Union. It is a story about the struggle to realize the great American promise that all people can live with dignity and fairness under the law. Each June, we commemorate the courageous individuals who have fought to achieve this promise for LGBT Americans, and we rededicate ourselves to the pursuit of equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity."


Essentially?  "Blah blah, we rock this shit, blah blah, no, I don't want to talk about that."

[MetroWeekly]

OneAngryCultist reporting for OneAngryQueer

OMG Shoes! In a report this morning by the Seattle PI, new outrage is being unleashed over shoes allegedly designed to sculpt the tokuses of young girls:

The company has miniaturized its “Shape-up” sneakers, a brand of boat-shaped shoes that features a sexified marketing campaign. The ads claim the shoes allegedly help firm the legs and butts of women, which feels less a health claim than a bid for desirability, reinforced by spokesmodel Kim Kardashian and other hotties in tiny shorts.

While there can be no doubt pushing products on kids under the pretense that it'll make them more attractive is a terrible, terrible, thing; there are some health benefits to having a functioning posterior that even our own Ian Awesome will be willing to talk about at length. Until then...

High Heel Fuckery Continues

Remember the hiking high heels?

Well now you can swim in style!

I am actually speechless.  Let's just refer to this as art, shall we?  Otherwise my brain may just explode. 

[HighTideHeels]

February: Let's Ignore the Douchetards

Dana Milbank, a columnist featured in the Washington Post, is troubled that he writes so much about Sarah Palin:

"The media obsession with Palin began naturally and innocently enough, when the Alaska governor emerged as an electrifying presence on the Republican presidential ticket more than two years ago. But then something unhealthy happened: Though Palin was no longer a candidate, or even a public official, we in the press discovered that the mere mention of her name could vault our stories onto the most-viewed list. Palin, feeding this co-dependency and indulging the news business's endless desire for conflict, tweeted provocative nuggets that would help us keep her in the public eye -- so much so that this former vice presidential candidate gets far more coverage than the actual vice president."

His solution?  Declare February a Palin-free month.  He won't write about her for the entire month.

February:  The month Sarah leaves us alone and gets a real job.

I agree with him.  Do you think that wacko would have published the gross graphic targeting congresspeople if we hadn't given her the platform to do so?

It brings to mind a lot of other hateful people who wouldn't have any staying power or ability to harm if we just didn't talk about them.  For instance: Westboro Baptist Church, otherwise known as the "God Hates Fags" people.  When these nutjobs threatened to picket the funerals of the Tucson shooting victims, several of you asked me to write about it.  I won't.  I refuse to give my blog to assholes as a way of promoting their image.

So I'm going to join Milbank.  Let's stop giving Sarah publicity-- and thus money-- because she honestly doesn't deserve it. 

[WaPo]

New Alabama Governor Proselytizes-- The Rest of America Isn't Surprised

Yet more tomfoolery from an newly elected GOP Governor.  During  a speech he gave at a church, he had this to say about his state's non-Christian residents:

Meet America's Newest Douchetard

“But if you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have, if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister,” he said.

“Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”

What I find REALLY funny is this is a speech given in the church formerly led by the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  The topic?  Tolerance on the basis of race.  Alabama has come a long way, folks-- they'll tolerate you if you're black, but make a special point of saying not if you're a black muslim.

[TuscaloosaNews]

Richard Branson: AirAsia's Newest Lady Stewardess! In a Lady Dress!

Sir Richard Branson, the world's foremost rich guy who does crazy things, recently lost a bet to AirAsia's executive, with the penalty being-- dressing up as a lady and serving cocktails on an AirAsia flight! 

From the Huffington Post:

"This wasn't just a gentleman's bet, though: The two men gambled on whose Formula One team would finish higher in a recent championship; Branson bet on his Virgin Racing, while Fernandes bet on his Lotus F1 team. The bet? Whoever lost would serve as a flight attendant on the others airline. It's not what you may think, though: Branson will serve as a female flight attendant, dressed in heels, makeup and dress and will be cleaning the bathrooms (among other duties) on a February 21st flight from London Stansted to Kuala Lumpur."

 Uh, I'll just have an OJ, thanks.  

 

They've said they most likely will be auctioning off seats and donating the proceeds to charity.  They've learned from the gays:  We've been using peen-tucking queens to raise money for important stuff (like lipstick and glitter gowns) for years!  Good for these guys!

[HuffPo]

Minneapolis Metrodome is Falling Down

The following video is the roof of the local football stadium in Minneapolis caving in under the pressure of the snow that had fallen on it.  I really wouldn't care less about this story, but the video below is kind of awesome-- the collapse, as it happened, from inside the stadium.  Kinda reminds you of a disaster movie or something a la The Day After Tomorrow or Titanic.

 

Shhhh, Just Enjoy It

And now, because this is my blog and I can do what I want, here's Rafael Nadal without a shirt on: